I find it amusing how everyone seems to be saying the same thing in their advice responses to the "fairytale" chapt. 1... they say "if you're interested in someone else then it's unfair to who you're with and the relationship will never work out anyway. If you really like someone, love someone, you can't think about anyone else, ever." -- See, as much as I love this romanticised concept of monogomy, I've been having doubts on the subject for quite a while. It's great to be in a relationship with one person that you can love and not even want to be with anyone else, but does that really ever happen? Maybe it DOES happen for some people, but there are others who can be in polyamorous relationships and that's fine too. Then again, I don't really believe in just fucking around. I think the best part of relationships is getting to know someone really well and -- then fucking around. 
... It doesn't even have to be sex, but sometimes being able to kiss another person to express how much you care about them is all that you need to get them to stay in the appropriate place in your mind. I'm not a very physical person in general, I don't run up and hug people ever. My boyfriend wants me to have more physically displayed enthusiasm when I first seem him after arrival at my place, but I just can't bring myself to flinging my arms around him and making out in public. Or whatever. I need to build up to it. On the other hand, the tension between myself and the "woman" from the fairytale is so great, that if I had the balls and the lack of morals, I would have grabbed her and thrown her up against a wall in the bathroom the other day... I would have said something like "friday night? ... I don't know.... I don't schedule that far in advance" and then I would have kissed her passionately and... yea. Does this all make me a bad girlfriend...? That I "would have" done that? I wasn't going to... I never will do something remotely similiar. I like my boyfriend a lot too... and when he isn't acting like such an ass, there are moments when it's him I want to be throwing up against that wall and doing all these 'naughty' things to. I guess I want to do that when I feel the most wanted... and usually in public situations I can't communicate with him. I just feel stupid. Whereas, with the woman, I don't really communicate either... but I still am able to give that look and get "that" look back. I say hello every time (which is a big step for me with people I like!) -- I say hello and force myself to look into her eyes when I say it. She can take what she wants from that, but ... it's just so different with my boyfriend. Or maybe men in general. I don't know. Urghh.
... It doesn't even have to be sex, but sometimes being able to kiss another person to express how much you care about them is all that you need to get them to stay in the appropriate place in your mind. I'm not a very physical person in general, I don't run up and hug people ever. My boyfriend wants me to have more physically displayed enthusiasm when I first seem him after arrival at my place, but I just can't bring myself to flinging my arms around him and making out in public. Or whatever. I need to build up to it. On the other hand, the tension between myself and the "woman" from the fairytale is so great, that if I had the balls and the lack of morals, I would have grabbed her and thrown her up against a wall in the bathroom the other day... I would have said something like "friday night? ... I don't know.... I don't schedule that far in advance" and then I would have kissed her passionately and... yea. Does this all make me a bad girlfriend...? That I "would have" done that? I wasn't going to... I never will do something remotely similiar. I like my boyfriend a lot too... and when he isn't acting like such an ass, there are moments when it's him I want to be throwing up against that wall and doing all these 'naughty' things to. I guess I want to do that when I feel the most wanted... and usually in public situations I can't communicate with him. I just feel stupid. Whereas, with the woman, I don't really communicate either... but I still am able to give that look and get "that" look back. I say hello every time (which is a big step for me with people I like!) -- I say hello and force myself to look into her eyes when I say it. She can take what she wants from that, but ... it's just so different with my boyfriend. Or maybe men in general. I don't know. Urghh.
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as long as the person you're with is fine w/poly
if they aren't...then find someone who is.
it works for some people. monogomy works for others.
trying to fake either will never work