glamerdork

green apple pucker in a complimentary red cup infamous for infiltrating college keggers with its glossy outside and white inside. there are drips of liquid stuck on the insides. a few sips and i'm already towards gone. getting over him, slowly, but i am. part of me thinks i'm too good for him. part of me thinks i'm not good enough. i can't decide, i know neither is right. neither is wrong. fucked up today in directing theories. fucking printer. fucking me. always waiting to the last minute. i'm so irresponsible. and it's like, i don't care anymore. i don't see the point in following the rules. for some reason i don't have any respect for authority. this isn't good. it's not that i don't care at all. i feel like i've gained a decent amount of intellect these past few months. emotionally. mentally. i need to let go of him. i think tonight i did a bit. we talked on the phone. laughed a bit, but he was definitely distant. his distance was not comforting, i longed to be comforted, even in his voice he didn't give it to me. and so i must accept. i don't want to move on, really, i mean, i want to get over him entirely, but why bother with relationships anyway? what i need to do is focus on life. gaining confidence. learning to love myself. when i look in the mirror i see a grey dot where my nose piercing was a few weeks ago. i wonder if it will ever fade away. i kind of feel like that grey dot. this puncture in society that is destined to fade away, but must be incredibly annoying for quite some time before it does...