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glamerdork

born in Jersey, college in Chicago.

Member Since 2002

Followers 284 Following 90

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Wednesday Nov 27, 2002

Nov 26, 2002
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Who am I kidding?

We're so different- no one can see us together. I'm starting to believe what they're all saying. He's a "dark soul" -- and I'm apparently just stupid. Well, I am hyper and immature a lot of the time... but that isn't really who I am (or is it?) I think I'm a lot more mature than anyone gives me credit for.. I just haven't learned how to express it yet. I don't know if he really likes me or if he's just saying these things to win me over. After all, he does have a history of making girls fall for him and then breaking their hearts in the past. Of course, that is a history he isn't proud of, and he has supposedly changed-- and I really think that this is the truth. But I have a very hard time trusting people, and I'll always wonder along the lines of all the "what if's?" -- He sometimes will mention how he thinks I'm going to break his heart-- is that because he falls in love easily? Is that because he really likes me? Or is that just because he wants me to feel bad if I ever do want to break it off with him, long before the thought even enters my head? And I hate thinking all of these things now because I honestly feel like I'm falling in love with him-- a statement which is incredibly weird since I've only known him for about three weeks and I don't believe in love. Well, I guess the right person can change these things in a heartbeat.

I'm terrified of getting hurt, but I'm also ready. Why don't we just get it over with?

Ugh.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
grayblue:
thanks for the hug. i needed that
Nov 26, 2002
freyja__:
at least you ask yourself these things. it will never blindside you and leaving you weeping on a street corner wondering "why?!"

as for being different!? don't let that stop you. my boyfriend and i are about as opposite as 2 people can get. he's super quiet and calm.. i'm hyper and will talk to people for hours and whatnot. he's dark, i'm light. he's passive.. i'm aggressive. i could go on and on. but you get the idea.

if you like him for who he is.. how he treats you.. and all the things that matter to spending time with someone.. don't let outside judgements stop you.

and if you really do get the feeling that he's playing you.. saying things because it works on you or wins you over.. tell him to hit the road and find yourself someone who will treat you right.

xo
Nov 27, 2002

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