glamerdork

the humidity is not only giving me a headache, but it's also causing me to act lethargic. I don't really want to do anything, although my mind is pulsing with the millions of items on my "to do" list. I just need to survive 4 more weeks till school gets out and then I'll be fine. The question is, can I make it?

I'm so easily distracted. My little infatuations tend to be the source of this distraction, if nothing else. -- I can't stop thinking about her... even though I know, for a fact, that it could never work. And I'm fine with that too. I love living in these little fantasy worlds... wondering "what if?" but never acting on it and SEEING "what if?" --

I'll see her again tomorrow. Sometimes, there are those moments when it would be perfect to just lean in and kiss her. It's like, even in the completely innocent nature of her flirtatious personality, she must have some idea that her actions are making me melt inside. She's not stupid. She knows she's beautiful... I doubt she'd think that I was just like... oh... so I'm sitting in this car with "x" and who really gives a shit that she's telling me how much she likes being touched-- because, ya know, that's what normal people talk about... it doesn't mean anything at all.

-- oh, I know it doesn't mean anything. But when those moments occur when I could... you know... do something... and maybe in those moments... even if it was incredibly wrong it would be even more so right and perhaps one of those events of complete insanity and beauty will occur-- the one that you regret forever in some ways but appreciate as one of those times that makes life worth living.

Ahhh-- my entry is really long. can't you tell I'm distracted? Urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

She's so freaking hot and I can't stop seeing her smiling face inside my mind. Except, I don't really mind her being there-- I'm just happy knowing that people like her exist in this world. Yea...

I hope she innocently flirts with me again tomorrow. Lol.

Geez.. I'm such a dorkass.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.