givememedicine

Well.. I'm finally back. From my balls to the wall journey. I saw my dad and realized what a fucking amazing person he is. I am so thankful for everything that I do have.. and how much (parts) of my family mean to me. It really blows my mind. Like.. thinks that people will never understand but myself. I tried to explain it to my...
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It's a constant battle: life. I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes i make myself completely limp and lifeless to feel the breeze blowing through me. it is me. it's the only thing that is me. i make myself so complicated and complex, when really i'm just an entity. and the wind blows me around in a spiral. dirt devil. fills me. why does...
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Destruction by definition. In the past. The puzzle pieces fall so slowly.. or quickly. Depending on how you see fit. I climb the stairwell. Curving with it's infinite design. Taking two steps at a time. Awakening with the sun and greeting its great majesty. Shivering, but warm. Smiling in its everknowing glory. Waiting patiently for the moon. Full and supple. Reign your power over me....
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Hm. Things are what they are.. then they change. What would we be without change? I am not the same person I was yesterday. Or the day before. And never will I be that person again.

uhhh. people bore me. dogs do not however. =] i <3 tony. he makes me happy when everyone else sucks. he knows not of manipulation or immaturity. BUT he...
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Getting ready for this weekend. Hopefully it'll be as busy as i think it will be. Lots of work. That's how i dig it though. XD

TIME FOR SOME RAMBLINGS! woot.

have you ever had that feeling that everything is so mixed up but still just fine? like you don't know what the hell is going on but you're still just fine with it. we...
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Sooo things are looking much better. I got myself an agent and a photographer so i'll be doing some modeling and such. i'm going to a photo shoot tonight and then another tomorrow so i'll post some of those pictures up once i get it going. hmmmm.. got school pretty much squared away and i'm seeing another doctor on thursday so i can really figure...
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sooooo i don't really know anymore.. i think i'm very sick. i went to the obgyn to do my yearly check up crap and they found weird stuff in my va jay jay so i had surgery about a week and a half ago to remove it because it was considered strange and they wanted to see what it was.. and the other day i...
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going back home for a week or so. i'm ready. it'll be interesting i hope.

some days i'm focused. some days i'm lethargic. but i know nothing but persistence. per usual..

getting back on track has proved itself difficult, but worth it. accomplishment is a mystery to some. i can't wait to travel. to understand everything.

my life is still beginning. it's so new. and...
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What's coming through is alive.
What's holding up is a mirror.
But what's singing songs is a snake
looking to turn my piss to wine.
They're both totally void of hate,
but killing me just the same.
The snake behind me hisses what my damage could have.
My blood before me begs me open up my heart again.
And I feel this coming over like...
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there is so much rage and malice in my heart. this is the moment where i no longer give a shit about pretty much anything. i can feel a black shroud over my eyes and it fuels me. sometimes i feel so much anger that i can't see straight.

fuck who you are and fuck what you think. i am something so much better and...
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