givememedicine

It's a constant battle: life. I wouldn't have it any other way. Sometimes i make myself completely limp and lifeless to feel the breeze blowing through me. it is me. it's the only thing that is me. i make myself so complicated and complex, when really i'm just an entity. and the wind blows me around in a spiral. dirt devil. fills me. why does it matter anymore? it shouldn't. it really shouldn't. yet i can't shake it. it flows throughout me just as the wind does. i don't know when it will end. it's not always this prominent however. you can't make someone notice you. they either do or they don't. the end. it's a burning feeling but it'll pass. it always does.

passion overwhelms me sometimes. i harness it as much as i am physically able. through anything as an outlet. someday maybe i'll find another outlet with similar passions. until then i won't hold my breath. and if i don't.. eh. whatev. i feel extremely apathetic in that area.

interesting how people change and how i change. struggling to always feel something i've never felt before. it's happening a whole lot more lately. i adore it. i just wish everyone else didn't bore me so goddamn much. at least i am able to entertain myself. imagination is something to behold. what if i were blind? what if i couldn't see color. or light. this is a re-occurring nightmare i've been having lately. feel the emotions you can feel while you still can. the moon is my escape and when i see it looking back at me i finally feel at peace. i don't know if i'll ever really know who i am because i can't stop changing enough to figure it out. i feel content knowing that though. i feel like this world is too small for me sometimes and maybe i'm not really from here. i don't feel like anywhere is my home. what is a home? somewhere you stay? somewhere you are from? who cares about any of that?

disconnected to you. disconnected to any and all living beings. connected to myself. i am a connect.

fucking connect me.