There is beauty in a breakdown.
There is something more than what people want you to be.
There is something worth fucking writing about now. I haven't written a real blog in quite some time.
I feel more real right now than I have in a long time and I'm not fucking scared to say it. Fuck everyone else and fuck making yourself a victim and fuck adhering to anyone else.
Changing something about yourself is not a fucking crime and I just realized that. You will stay more true to yourself if you just strive to understand who you are inside and what you can do to change your faults.
Normally I would be honestly terrified to type any of this on here for many fears that I have of being disliked or unwanted.
I have a lot of problems and for once in my fucking life I want to understand who I am and what my problems are instead of pushing them into the back of my head. And using drugs to push them out.
Drugs are fun but they usually leave me feeling empty and needing to be filled with something again. Nothing I ever do fills me up. There are many things that I know if I do them I'll feel 800 times better about everything.
I'm doing this for me and only me. I don't feel like I need to prove myself to anyone BUT myself. I used to understand who I was and why I did the things I did. Now I see nothing when I look into the mirror. But I fucking put myself in this situation and I'm using to my fucking advantage now.
I have to do something. And I honestly haven't felt this alive in a long time.
There is something more than what people want you to be.
There is something worth fucking writing about now. I haven't written a real blog in quite some time.
I feel more real right now than I have in a long time and I'm not fucking scared to say it. Fuck everyone else and fuck making yourself a victim and fuck adhering to anyone else.
Changing something about yourself is not a fucking crime and I just realized that. You will stay more true to yourself if you just strive to understand who you are inside and what you can do to change your faults.
Normally I would be honestly terrified to type any of this on here for many fears that I have of being disliked or unwanted.
I have a lot of problems and for once in my fucking life I want to understand who I am and what my problems are instead of pushing them into the back of my head. And using drugs to push them out.
Drugs are fun but they usually leave me feeling empty and needing to be filled with something again. Nothing I ever do fills me up. There are many things that I know if I do them I'll feel 800 times better about everything.
I'm doing this for me and only me. I don't feel like I need to prove myself to anyone BUT myself. I used to understand who I was and why I did the things I did. Now I see nothing when I look into the mirror. But I fucking put myself in this situation and I'm using to my fucking advantage now.
I have to do something. And I honestly haven't felt this alive in a long time.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
priapos:
Even better.
shanksystem:
its good to see you so driven about something. i love it when perople can be strong like that and say fuck what other people think, im doin whats best for me. anyways, rock on with yur bad self. i hope to hear from ya soon 
