How to dress human meat:
When preparing humans to be eaten, one should always find a suitable specimin first. With all the disease and nasty things that can happen to humans, it is vital you make sure your specimin is healthy proir to capture. In order to properly flush it's system you should not feed it for approxamately three days, but keep it well watered. The next step is to wash off your specimin. Don't want any urine or topical toxins on them! Then you kill them! Wheeeeeee! This can be done my a bullet through the head, or a slit throat. If you plan to tan thier hide as well you might choose to just drown them or something. Every animal has just enough brain to tan it's own hide! The next step is to bleed the carcass. Generally you'll want to hang the body up with meat hooks by the tendon in the heel. Then slit the wrists and juggular and let the blood drip into buckets or something to collect all that blood because it's hard as hell to clean up. After it's done you should wash it off again. Can never get a human clean enough! The filthy cretins. Now is the time you skin the human. There's more than one way. When you're done wash the carcass off... You can make pork rind type snacks with the skin if you fry it. Next you should gut the beast. The best way to get this done cleanly without contaminating the meat is to slit open the stomach area and cut off the intestines just below the stomach and cut about an inch radius around the anus and dispose of the intestines. Toss the bladder too, but as for the other organs, there's all sorts of things you can cook with them so keep them. Pancreas is a sweetmeat that some people like. The stomach is somtimes served too. The kidneys make good pies. Liver can make sausage and is tasty on it's own! Again, wash out the carcass! The next step is to take your cleaver and split the body down the middle along the spine. Its then a good idea to... you guessed it! Wash the carcass! As for the male genitals... believe it or not there are recipies for that sort of thing! You just have to know where to look. Now is when you can section the meat. The stomach makes bacon when sliced thin and you can get a nice rack of ribs from them. The vertebrae go into great stews and broths, or they make charming doggie treats! The arms make good eats too. Like giant versions of buffalo wings. The legs will yield rump roast, pot roast, drumsticks, thighs and all sorts of tasty stuff! any other meat you can find feel free to cook up and have a fun little barbecue! bye bye yall!
When preparing humans to be eaten, one should always find a suitable specimin first. With all the disease and nasty things that can happen to humans, it is vital you make sure your specimin is healthy proir to capture. In order to properly flush it's system you should not feed it for approxamately three days, but keep it well watered. The next step is to wash off your specimin. Don't want any urine or topical toxins on them! Then you kill them! Wheeeeeee! This can be done my a bullet through the head, or a slit throat. If you plan to tan thier hide as well you might choose to just drown them or something. Every animal has just enough brain to tan it's own hide! The next step is to bleed the carcass. Generally you'll want to hang the body up with meat hooks by the tendon in the heel. Then slit the wrists and juggular and let the blood drip into buckets or something to collect all that blood because it's hard as hell to clean up. After it's done you should wash it off again. Can never get a human clean enough! The filthy cretins. Now is the time you skin the human. There's more than one way. When you're done wash the carcass off... You can make pork rind type snacks with the skin if you fry it. Next you should gut the beast. The best way to get this done cleanly without contaminating the meat is to slit open the stomach area and cut off the intestines just below the stomach and cut about an inch radius around the anus and dispose of the intestines. Toss the bladder too, but as for the other organs, there's all sorts of things you can cook with them so keep them. Pancreas is a sweetmeat that some people like. The stomach is somtimes served too. The kidneys make good pies. Liver can make sausage and is tasty on it's own! Again, wash out the carcass! The next step is to take your cleaver and split the body down the middle along the spine. Its then a good idea to... you guessed it! Wash the carcass! As for the male genitals... believe it or not there are recipies for that sort of thing! You just have to know where to look. Now is when you can section the meat. The stomach makes bacon when sliced thin and you can get a nice rack of ribs from them. The vertebrae go into great stews and broths, or they make charming doggie treats! The arms make good eats too. Like giant versions of buffalo wings. The legs will yield rump roast, pot roast, drumsticks, thighs and all sorts of tasty stuff! any other meat you can find feel free to cook up and have a fun little barbecue! bye bye yall!
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
osaka:
northron:
That .gif, is that the Muffin Mob?