And suppose I never ever met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall
I saw Regina Spektor on Friday. It rained almost the entire show. But it made the show better. Because her music is so moody. And I never really listened to her, only that song above. But it's amazing how when that chorus was played on the first thing that I saw in my mind was the boys face. But I think it's normal. But I just have to remind myself every day that I'm beautiful and smart...and one day I will be loved again.
So I'm driving again and such. I'm finally feeling back to myself. I've just been taking it one step at a time. Literally.
On a more personal note, my grandma's dementia's been getting worse. She's just having more difficulty remembering things and difficulty talking. It makes me feel so guilty and horrible when I get frustrated when she's trying to tell me something. I wish I could stop myself from getting frustrated. I do love her and she's dedicated so much time to taking care of me and I feel like I can't do the same for her. Partly because it hurts to see her like this. I think that's why I want to move out so much. I feel like if I'm not home...the problems with my grandma and the parents marriage won't effect me. Even though realistically they will. I just wish I could find enough money to fix everything that's wrong with the house, give my dad enough money so that he could move out and leave my mom alone, and give my mom enough money so that she didn't have to work so hard and so she could hire a nurse to take care of my grandma. But I can't. I feel like I'm just this curse on my mom. She's 56 years old...she had me so late and she's had to take care of me so much.
And all this is just babbling. Please fee free to ignore my emotional rambling.
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall
I saw Regina Spektor on Friday. It rained almost the entire show. But it made the show better. Because her music is so moody. And I never really listened to her, only that song above. But it's amazing how when that chorus was played on the first thing that I saw in my mind was the boys face. But I think it's normal. But I just have to remind myself every day that I'm beautiful and smart...and one day I will be loved again.
So I'm driving again and such. I'm finally feeling back to myself. I've just been taking it one step at a time. Literally.
On a more personal note, my grandma's dementia's been getting worse. She's just having more difficulty remembering things and difficulty talking. It makes me feel so guilty and horrible when I get frustrated when she's trying to tell me something. I wish I could stop myself from getting frustrated. I do love her and she's dedicated so much time to taking care of me and I feel like I can't do the same for her. Partly because it hurts to see her like this. I think that's why I want to move out so much. I feel like if I'm not home...the problems with my grandma and the parents marriage won't effect me. Even though realistically they will. I just wish I could find enough money to fix everything that's wrong with the house, give my dad enough money so that he could move out and leave my mom alone, and give my mom enough money so that she didn't have to work so hard and so she could hire a nurse to take care of my grandma. But I can't. I feel like I'm just this curse on my mom. She's 56 years old...she had me so late and she's had to take care of me so much.
And all this is just babbling. Please fee free to ignore my emotional rambling.