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girltrouble

Black Rock City

Member Since 2005

Followers 24 Following 31

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Wednesday Nov 02, 2005

Nov 2, 2005
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Blah! This is me today. I'm posting this for two reasongs: 1) it pretty much sums up morning and 2) because I'm already breaking rule #4 so I want to make sure I'm brief.

Kate Bell: Hi
Philip Bell: hi
Kate Bell: I got a C- on my test.
Philip Bell: awwwww that sucks
Philip Bell: that you got that grade
Philip Bell: i thought you thought you did well
Kate Bell: So did I.
Philip Bell: i'm sorry'that sucks
Kate Bell: I thought I did a lot better than last time.
Philip Bell: it's ok
Kate Bell: I don't feel like it's ok.
Kate Bell: I've really let school slip lately.
Philip Bell: you have?
Philip Bell: well what doi you need to do to get back on rteack
Kate Bell: Yeah
Kate Bell: Stop smoking... at least when I should be doing something else.
Kate Bell: It makes my ADD 42 times worse
Philip Bell: oh ok
Kate Bell: That's why the house is falling apart too.
Philip Bell: smoking?
Kate Bell: I've been completely maxed out on ADD the last few weeks.
Philip Bell: stop smoking
Kate Bell: I haven't had any today.
Kate Bell: I don't want to go completely the other way again though and be hyperfocused on all the tasks and plans I'm supposed to be doing and never enjoying myself.
Kate Bell: I don't know how to fit both in.
Philip Bell: word
Philip Bell: is this the only trade off?
Kate Bell: I think I'm slightly bi-polar.
Kate Bell: Do you mean is it one or the other for me?
Philip Bell: yeah
Kate Bell: It shouldn't be but it always is.
Philip Bell: dat sucks
Kate Bell: When I'm on the fun manic side of it I'm like "yeah this is great. Now if I could just fit in the things I need to do" but it never happens.
Kate Bell: And once I start being more responsible again I get paranoid about relaxing and slipping again.
Philip Bell: well
Kate Bell: and then I get really depressed.
Philip Bell: so it's a cycle?
Kate Bell: Jesus Christ why can't I just... BLAIDHGOIHGAI!
Kate Bell: Yeah
Philip Bell: normally i want to plaidgoinhangtai
Kate Bell: stop it, I want to cry right now
Kate Bell: but I can't cause I'm in the library and all the books are looking at me
Philip Bell: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Philip Bell: i'm sorry
Philip Bell: the books won't laugh, they can comfort you
Kate Bell: thanks
Kate Bell: FUCK YOU C-!
Philip Bell: awww hun, it's just one test
Philip Bell: there are going to be lots of other tests
Philip Bell: you can learn from this
Kate Bell: yay
Kate Bell: OK, you're right. I'll stop sulking.
Kate Bell: Now what do I do?
Philip Bell: STOP IT RIGHT NOW
Philip Bell: some school work
Kate Bell: besides go have a cigarette?
Philip Bell: hahaha
Kate Bell: ok
Philip Bell: and have a snack
Kate Bell: thank you for laughing at my jokes
Philip Bell: you're welcome, thanks for being the only person on this planet who doesn't think i'm funny
Kate Bell: and when do i get to make sure I don't turn back into Dr. Jekyl?
Kate Bell: I love you
Philip Bell: ily
Kate Bell: Maybe I should go back to counseling?
Philip Bell: maybe
Kate Bell: I don't want to go on meds though
Philip Bell: it hasn't crossed my mind
Kate Bell: again
Philip Bell: meds are teh suckzorz
Kate Bell: yeah
Kate Bell: speaking of meds, change of subject for second.
Philip Bell: yes?
Kate Bell: I got a call from the school pharmacy this morning. they had the bag with the Rx I had lost.
Kate Bell: I lost that over a month ago!
Philip Bell: awesome
Philip Bell: i only vaguely remember this
Kate Bell: It was ancient history.
Kate Bell: Oh and my palm pilot was in there
Kate Bell: Didn't even realize that.
Kate Bell: Just knew I didn't know where it was.
Philip Bell: fuck babe
Kate Bell: OK, so I'm going to try really hard to stay on task during the day.
Kate Bell: But I need to make sure that I relax and enjoy myself too.
Kate Bell: After I get my shit done.
Philip Bell: what are your tasks for today?
Kate Bell: Read chapter and write folklore essay
Philip Bell: ok
Philip Bell: and what time are you going to do each one?
Kate Bell: DO LAUNDRY AND PUT IT AWAY!
Kate Bell: pick up the bathroom
Kate Bell: try to stay away from the internet and no smoking while I'm on duty.
Philip Bell: ok so when does duty start?
Kate Bell: an hour and a half ago.
Kate Bell: I'm going to read now, get something to eat around 11:15, then keep reading until a.) I finish or b.) 12:00 when my next class starts.
Kate Bell: Then I'll write my paper this afternoon.
Philip Bell: ok
Philip Bell: good luck you can do it
Philip Bell: ily
Kate Bell: Thanks baby. I love you.
Philip Bell: i love you too

In better news, I'm having a "hot day". At least there's that to look forward to. confused

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