girlb0t

It seems home life is not getting any better. Rather it's getting worse. I feel like my world is split between great happiness and misery. Now that I work with my parents, instead of things getting better because i'm helping them it's just worse. So after working 8 hours today, me and my mom were getting ready to leave and she said rest before we leave i sat at the lunch table put my head down, and knocked out for like a minute and all of a sudden my dad comes walking over to me and starts yelling at me. Calling me lazy, and good for nothing. He started saying how we always ask him for money (which btw I don't...i'd rather starve), and how we never do anything for him, and then he started making threats that he was going to sell my mustang. I almost wanted to say if you sell it i'll never talk to you again, and thats a promise. But i was just angry. After a few minutes of yelling, i just started crying and walked away to the bathroom. So sick. So sick and tired of this life with them. How do you love someone who makes your life complete misery? Who is never satisfied for what you do for them, for what you give up. And because my parents are miserable with each other they take it out on everyone. Take 20 years of the same shit. And i'm up to my neck in it. And it seems that these past few months ive been pushed far to much. It takes a lot for me to just explode and tell someone off. But it seems like its getting closer for me. It's just fueling this fire. Then later on late at night its my mom. I love my mom, but she has blamed me and my sister for her mistakes, and for her misery. It took me most of my life to realize that It wasn't me, its her. Me and my sister were at peace which isn't all that often between us when all of a sudden my mom comes out of the room.and starts yelling at us saying we have no consideration for her, i have no idea how we woke her up...my sister was reading...me just typing away...I have a laptop...the keys are quiet...believe me. But my mom just started going off on us. Saying we're stupid, and inconsiderate, and that some how leads to her staying with our dad for us, and how she sacrificed so much for us and we're so ungrateful. On...and on. Uhhhhh...the drama. I know tomorrow, i'll hear it yet again.
On a dead serious note: I need to fuckin' move out. This will not end well.

Ry, is the only person keeping me going right now. No one but the gods and goddesses know how grateful I am for him. He seems to always be that shinning light at the end of the dark tunnel.