girlb0t

I Lost a friend back in August. Not to death, to lies. It's one of those things that you sit there and think "fuck what went wrong." What did go wrong..i couldn't tell you. I don't know. I do but i don't. It all ended with a lie. And i said fuck it, i'm tired of being always taken advantage of...it hurt. She was my best friend, I told her secrets i could never even repeat again or tell to anyone else. There was this bond there. One that had lasted 10 years thus far. She was my childhood friend. I was always there for her, and she was there for me. But she said things that cut, deeper than any man made tool. And I told her that I was sick of the same shit. I've only gone on her myspace ever since...but here i found a blog written. It was a poem...and somehow I knew it was for me.

To the one who will never read this....
Current mood: depressed
Category: Friends

I wish things could have been different. I wish it from the bottom of my broken heart.

Find your way, I know you will.
I know you are better off,
but damn it's harsh to think of why.
I miss you, I won't lie,
I think about you and everything we shared,
in that car, and the tears outside the front gate,
as the rocks were thrown as if they were plates.
I know you are happy without me,
but I'm so miserable without you.
If I could find the moment where everthing went downhill,
well I know when it was, it just hurts to see why then.
So keep going, don't hold back on my account.
I miss you and I always will but I guess fate is stronger than a bond.

I wrote her. She responded. But it's to soon I think. She is still broken from I guess so much shit that has gone down since she last spoke to me, breaks my heart. I love the girl...she's like a lil sister to me.
We always said that we'd probably grow up to be old spinister women in a big victorian house with our nine cats...Honestly if it makes her happy even at the cost of not talking to me, then so be it. But I won't lie, I miss her, I miss my best friend.

But maybe fate is stronger.