Today, boys and girls, a little old man offered Ginny 900 dollars to spank him--clothed, mind you.
This is how it went down.
I'm sitting, minding my own business in the coffee shop at the large format bookstore, reading my newly purchased Frances Hodgson Burnett book. (A kids' book, for chrissakes!) A little old man with a cane sits next to me, and starts talking to me. Are you doing your homework...? What do you do...? Does that pay well...? Do you have a boyfriend...? I chat--he seems lonely.
Then he tells me he's here to meet some girl because he has 500 dollars for her. Apparently she goes to Ryerson University. I'm thinking this poor man has read some crazy thing on the internet and will be promptly giving up money to save some Nigerian dignitary. I feel bad for him, so I ask, "Is this girl your granddaughter?" He says no, and proceeds to take the money out, and count it in front of me. I know he said 500, but counting those 100s he gets up to at least 8, and there were still 20s.
I obviously look puzzled, so he explains. He asks if I know of the tradition of getting paddy-whacks on your birthday.. I have no idea where he's going with this at this point, but he proceeds to tell me that once a year, for his birthday (because he can't afford it every day) he pays this girl (and sometimes her sister) to spank him--clothed, mind you. He kept stressing that point. On one occasion, this sister took him to High Park and bent him over a picnic table and spanked him--again, stressing it was clothed.
That's good money for little work, no?
Um... I guess.
Would you do that if a friend asked you?
Um...probably not.
Of course, you're too honest. I mean, you even paid for that book. Well, if you're ever in the mood for some things like that you can find ads for it in the free Now Magazine. They're at the very back. They have phone numbers.
Um. Yeah...sure. Thanks.
Well I won't bother you then. Good luck with your affair. (He meant Dogslife).
So he just comes into the store, finds his victim, and makes his pitch.
So, now I'm sure you're all wondering..............
Ginny, what will you do with 900 dollars?
This is how it went down.
I'm sitting, minding my own business in the coffee shop at the large format bookstore, reading my newly purchased Frances Hodgson Burnett book. (A kids' book, for chrissakes!) A little old man with a cane sits next to me, and starts talking to me. Are you doing your homework...? What do you do...? Does that pay well...? Do you have a boyfriend...? I chat--he seems lonely.
Then he tells me he's here to meet some girl because he has 500 dollars for her. Apparently she goes to Ryerson University. I'm thinking this poor man has read some crazy thing on the internet and will be promptly giving up money to save some Nigerian dignitary. I feel bad for him, so I ask, "Is this girl your granddaughter?" He says no, and proceeds to take the money out, and count it in front of me. I know he said 500, but counting those 100s he gets up to at least 8, and there were still 20s.
I obviously look puzzled, so he explains. He asks if I know of the tradition of getting paddy-whacks on your birthday.. I have no idea where he's going with this at this point, but he proceeds to tell me that once a year, for his birthday (because he can't afford it every day) he pays this girl (and sometimes her sister) to spank him--clothed, mind you. He kept stressing that point. On one occasion, this sister took him to High Park and bent him over a picnic table and spanked him--again, stressing it was clothed.
That's good money for little work, no?
Um... I guess.
Would you do that if a friend asked you?
Um...probably not.
Of course, you're too honest. I mean, you even paid for that book. Well, if you're ever in the mood for some things like that you can find ads for it in the free Now Magazine. They're at the very back. They have phone numbers.
Um. Yeah...sure. Thanks.
Well I won't bother you then. Good luck with your affair. (He meant Dogslife).
So he just comes into the store, finds his victim, and makes his pitch.
So, now I'm sure you're all wondering..............
Ginny, what will you do with 900 dollars?
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
Hello new Bose sound system! Goodbye debt!
Yes....I have no shame.