ginjer

I found a job. It very well may be temporary but it still means the world to me.
I feel like I fell so far from my goals and dreams, its like im starting all over again
my goals are more simple these days
just to have my own place and someone to love would be the perfect life <3
I still love nate with all my heart, he does not feel the same
but I love to love not to be loved or expect anything in return
but putting all my energy towards this job and nate leaves very little left
I envy those who have their life together enough to have time & energy for SG
for extra modeling and fun shoots, I envy anyone who has time to sit and write
poetry, lyrics, stories, time to just spill your sould and write
I never have time. never have energy. but then again thats not something new
ive always had way too much motivation and not enough energy.
some would call it sick, but calling myself sick is a quick way to scare people off
nobody wants a friend that is sick or dying. i have no intention of dying.
I simply dont have the same immune system and energy as some.

But I stay motivated, I go to work everyday and thats all I need to stay happy
For now