Thursday Aug 27, 2009

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Again thanks for all the kind words everyone, this is hard on me
I know all my blogs are about Nate recently and Ive been told not to obsess
Its not that I am obsessing, its just that my life revolved around him before the break up
I lived with him, spent everyday with him, no job, no school, not many friends
I have very little things to fill my time with

but I am very pleased to say things are going better
I wrote all my feelings down in a long letter that I will never give to him
I cried for 3 hours straight then called him and asked to see him
after almost a week apart, seeing him as a friend was much easier
obviously I still completely love him, but Im not crying or hurting as bad
I believe we will be back together eventually, it will just take time

this sunday will be 6 months from the day we started seeing eachother
and Im going to take him out for a very romantic lunch, cruising on the portland spirit
Im not expecting him to ask me out again, I know he's not ready for that yet
I just want to show him I care and can be a sweetheart through the worst fights
I bought a new dress, and plan on getting all dolled up for sunday

I didn't end up shooting yesterday, because I spent the day with nate instead
but next week is when the magic will happen smile

I went to the dentist today and got a root canal, my mouth is numb and I dont like it

School starts in less than a month and I can't wait
but going from keizer to gresham 3 days a week is going to suck blackeyed
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
maineville:
Its honestly ok to talk about your ex or friend however he is too you at the moment trust me i know what your going through i'm sorta in the same predicment as you but we are actually trying to work things out at this point considering what has happened and what is going to make us stronger but the advice i can give you is well you are trying to make a difference for yourself looking for a job and what not keep being you and trying to improve yourself that will only make you stronger smile
mr_music:
Writing things out like that is definitely good. Talking about things is too, but it is best to vent, and keep moving. If you were living together that quick.... that is usually a bad idea to start, very straining to any relationship. Plus I'd still be weary of the hurtful behavior he displayed before, and even before you broke up, I recall a mention that he was saying your too needing of him, other things. I think there is still a lot to him you do not know. A female artist I produced has a song called "Pretty Truth" it is about how everybody puts up a somewhat false front when a relationship begins, sometimes after you are involved a while (a year or so) the facade drops... sometimes it can be a Pretty Truth, or sometimes is can be an Ugly Truth. You almost never see the real person in the beginning.

The main thing though, it sound like you really need to work on developing your life, not focusing on relationships. You do not need to be so dependent on ANY guy. I think a lot of young people do the same thing with getting priorities mixed up. And I have met many girls that end up in there late twenties with little to show when all the effort went into a relationship, young love, that ultimately failed. Sometimes because it never was meant to be, other times because EVERYONE changes a lot in their young adulthood. Find a career, get more hobbies, build that independence.

Viva la Revolution smile

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