gingerninja

Aye Aye,

How is everyone? well i hope.
I actually feel quite poorly sick at the minute, ive a headache and feel really tired and lathargic.

Im putting it down to the fact ive been sooo stressed for as long as i can remember and finally for the first time last night and today i have felt chilled out and relaxed.

Saw my boyf for the first time this week yesterday, i was giving this week as some time apart from him as his ex was in hospital so he had the kids all week so ive kept out the way.

Anyway, he came to me yesterday and told me that he has missed me and he realises that he takes our relationship and me for granted and that he is soo sorry and he has realised hwo much i do for him and that he has also realised he needs to get his prioritys right and think about me more and how his actions affect me, he also said that he is sorry for snapping at me and basically treating me like shit. He has noticed how much i do for him and he has noticed that i support him in everything he does and will do anything to help him out, ive been really supportive of the situation this week and helped out loads where i can and have been there for him when he has been worried about his ex.

So....i turned around and told him that i was gonna finish things cause i was so unhappy, i asked if he had noticed all his stuff was packed in my house and he was gutted, he was askin if i was gonna end it and wanted me to rpomise himn i wasnt, i refused top promise but told me i didnt want to and i loved him but coudlnt go on like it was and that i was hoping this week might change things.

so....saw him today and it was great, went shopping and did lots of normal stuff together but really enjoyed it, we went and got clothes for the kids and food shopping and it felt like the first time in ages that we have actually just done something but nothing together and not argued.

So...lets see how it goes, ive told him that if it goes back to normal then im out as im only 25 and i cant spend the rest of my furute in an unhappy relationship and that if he hated me as much as he has said in arguments then we shouldnt be together anyway.

He seemed very shocked and scared. but i feel so much better for getting it off my chest.

but if he doesnt stick to what he has said then im afraid ill call it a day and he knows it now. he was shocked i hadnt said anything before, see the thing is, i had, he just hadnt listened.

anyway i feel like i am back on a level with him instead of feeling like he controls me. i know we can be happy, lets just see if he goes back to his old ways.

anyhow. thats that. ill be keeping everything crossed cause it has to work this time xxx