ginacherry

I have been at a loss for words for a while now- you may or may not have noticed, I usually do not conduct the business of updating my journal with simple sentences or lists of things I have or have not done- always wanting to evoke the emotions from this chair and pass them down to all of you..on those rare occasions, I have succeeded in this and for that I am so grateful- how lovely to think I could touch your heart, soul, anger, the things inside of us that are buried underneath the mundane of the everyday, the everything thing so ordinaryAlas, I think I kwon now why these words have stopped flowing- I am mourning the loss of my muse- no he is not dead, and I hope he is well and he knows that my heart still bears his name in a special spot that evoked the raining sheets of words, sentences, spaces, dots, letters, sighs, the moans, - I dont have to get into it- we have both filed this history away in the corners of something delightful that I was all too privileged and happy to have experienced- how many people in your inner, private circle of friendship, love, devotion, true caring can you say exist?- all I know is that I am picky and he remains there to this day- at the very least we can still be friends- but what of the fire that raged inside that once enabled the words to pour from the vessel of the tongue, lips, heart, to your eyes, to your brain, back to the heart?- sometimes the fire consumes me and it burnt everything good and right- it consumes me- just like the summation of the endless nights we talked on the phone, the endless nights you kept me company- I was thinking then that we should spoon, lay beside each other and I could feel the kiss of your lips on my neck for the very first night- I pray that these words come back to me, for I am also mourning their loss.