gimmesatisfaction

Last night, I had the most elaborate dream. Actually, it wasnt quite a dream, because I was just laying in bed waiting for sleep to take hold, and all these entertaining images became a cohesive story in my mind, morphing and changing before my closed eyes like I was on Morphine. Or something stronger. I had taken a bunch of Kava Kava and Valerian a few hours before (Its either that or prozac, damnit), and Ive noticed that this combination allows my brain to create the best little soap operas and abstractions when Im in the intoxicated, content stage between awake and sleeping. Either way, the whole scene had a shifting, indistinct quality to it, like I was watching it unfold through the haze surrounding a hot gas grill on a summer evening, realistic yet distorted at the same time.
I was observing a courtroom from some invisible, omniscient position. A very high-ranking corporate type was on trial for Crimes against Nature. It had the same implications as a war crime, or a crime against humanity. Just as serious. Apparently, unhealthy amounts of his companys toxic wastes (dog food? chicken cutlets? I dont remember, exactly) had been discovered in the towns drinking water, and even more alarming levels were documented in the river that ran through the center of town. The man, who appeared to be defending himself, argued that although there definitely was some pollution to the water supply, it was so minute that it simply wasnt a problem. And who was the real victim here but he, a man just trying to make a living? And what this amounted to, in the end, was nothing more than a corporate witchhunt perpetuated by illogical, hot-headed liberal types.
This remark was mainly directed toward the prosecuting attorney, who was young, hot-headed and radical, but not illogical by any stretch of the imagination. Just extremely passionate, and I got the sense that he had poured his entire being into pursuing this case, as it had taken its toll on him mentally. As he spoke, his voice cracked and he seemed very agitated. He wheeled a huge 50-gallon drum full of THE offending toxic waste into the courtroom, a totally noxious, repulsive mixture of gasoline, cyanide, and something green and slimy. With an eyedropper, he took just a tiny amount and emptied it into the defendants water glass. Drink this, he said.
Of course, the man refused.
I object, your honor, he said, on the grounds that I am not thirsty.
The judge sort of looked at him and shrugged like, youre on your own this time, buddy.
Come on, the attorney urged. How can you sit up here and say that you arent putting the people of this town at harm by putting this stuff into their water supply if youre not willing to take even a tiny sip?
But still, the CEO refused, and the attorney rested his case with a total shit-eating grin on his face. Victory, certainly. He felt it in his bones. He had proven his case and now it just was a matter of waiting ...
Unfortunately, the jury came back in no time flat with a Not Guilty verdict. No explanation, no emotion visible on any of the twelve faces, people who had been drinking that very polluted water unknowingly for years.
The attorney was stunned and upset, his face a cracked mask revealing his utter defeat. His supporters in the audience broke into an uproar, crying and yelling as they were escorted out of the courtroom. The defendant and the judge shared a secret smile. Without thinking about it one second longer, the attorney lept up, struck a match, and tossed it into the vat of toxic waste and turned to walk out. A giant fireball exploded in the courtroom, encompassing the entire building--CEO, judge and attorney in all, not to mention all the innocent and not-so-innocent bystanders who were straggling out in a single file line.
I woke up this morning thinking, Suicide Lawyer, how cool.