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gilliam89

London

Member Since 2009

Followers 138 Following 179

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Wednesday Nov 04, 2009

Nov 4, 2009
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I'm in a dark place right now, and it isn't the broom cupboard. The growing sense of unease and grief around me is starting to take it's toil on my mind. The endless, long nights of drinking and drugs until we all fall down is dragging me into a depressing hole. Tonight is the first night I've pulled myself out of the lull, however I fear everyone else is lost beyond the abyss.

I crave comfort and solace in someone special and it feels as though that feeling is more than distant. If anyone out there hears me, I'm trapped in the basement of my own negativity and need a confidence boost just to get out!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
the_malcontent:
I feel for you, I'm trying to turn my life around after having barrelled full on down a road that seemed right at the time, and now... less so.

You need to reflect on the part of you that is so self critical, it tends to manifest it's self in destructive behaviour. I'm beginning to figure out why and where mine comes from, and I hope that in time I can correct that balance a stop it.

I dearly wish I could be with that someone too, but I managed to put that out of reach very well by my behaviour, and I know that ultimately the response and the confidence I need will only come from myself.

Take good care of yourself and maybe spend some time on your own (up a hill, in the wind and rain, It usually helps me get a bit of perspective).
Nov 5, 2009
missraae:
What is it they say on planes? Help yourself before you help others. Focus on your own well being and others will follow your example.
Nov 18, 2009

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