gigantits

Hello Everyone!

Im two days into my new job and I think Im digging it!
I went into it thinking I've done this for 6 years! I know everything!
umm . No.
The is an Ophthalmologist office. I've only ever worked in optometrist clinics.

Now may I clear this up for anyone who is not sure of the differences.

If I need an eye exam, I go to an optometrist. If that optometrist discovers I have cataracts, he will send me to an ophthalmologist. An ophthalmologist is essentially a surgeon of the eyes. He will perform cataract surgery on me.
If I see an optometrist for my eye exam and I need new glasses then he would send me to an optician, who will fit and make glasses for me.

Opticians are licensed and can work independently. A lab technician does the same thing as an optician but normally do not have any certification. Lab Techs must work under the supervision of an optometrist.
( I was a lab tech at my previous employer)

get it? If you dont, your dumb.

So in my new job I am an Ophthalmic Assistant. I thought this would be like my last job as an optometric assistant with administration duties as well as minor preliminary testing for the doctor.
As an ophthalmic assistant I do mainly what my old boss does. Refraction ( the measuring of prescription), pupilary movement and constriction ( making sure the pupils respond normally) , visual acuity testing ( the big E sign- distinguishing if someone is 20/20 or 20/100)

Now you ask, what does 20/20 mean? Well my young scholars, 20/20 means at 20 feet you can read the optical standard ( or what a healthy eye can read) at 20 feet.

If you were 20/100 ( not good) that would mean that what you see at 20 feet is what the healthy eye can see at 100 feet. Meaning you are a blind bastard.

And I have also learned this OCT test (Ocular Coherence Tomograph) which is essentially an ultrasound or a MRI of the retina and optic nerve. This test blows my mind. I am the only one out of all the staff so far that has been able to actually perform it on a patient. Apparently I am the only one that has learned it properly (its a new machine that everyone has been tryin to learn) so BADOW BITCHES!

I shouldnt call them bitches. They are sweet old ladies. Seriously I work with 3 olllllld ladies. Like 70ish ( well past retirement age!) and a cute lil phillipino lady. They are dolls. But dont quite understand what ' double click' or ' scroll' means hahaha.

As well, my boss said he would like to get me some certification in my position. He wants to pay for most of an Ophthalmic assistant program so I can get formal training and learn pharmacology. There are so many prescription eye drops,pills and injections that I am responsible for prescribing and I need to know them inside out (side effects etc.)
Actually today, I had to administer a particular eye drop the constricts the pupils. This drop is also known to have side effects of cardiac arrest! I was so damn nervous lol I had to monitor the patient for an hour to make sure she wasnt gunna have a damn heart attack from a friggin eye drop!
So ya, I can see why he wants me to know pharmacology.

I also get to assist in administration of BOTOX and Juvederm. ( Apparantly Ophthalmologists do BOTOX. I did not know this.) Lol. I am so against BOTOX and now I get to pump it into the foreheads of rich Lulu lemon wearing Yorkville bitches. Sweet.
Oh and there is this sweet glaucoma medication called Lumigan (Bimaniprost) that has the SWEETEST side effect ever. It gives you tricholmialgae. i.e MAKES YOUR EYELASHES GROW LOOOONG!!! I will get me some of that shiz.! After discovering this side effect of the drop, an aesthetic company has produced a safer, less high medical ingredient formula called Latisse that is being done in treatments for the public. It can even grow eyebrows!
Check out this shit


so ya. I feel so bad ass in this job. Like a fucking rockstar doctor! hahaha

If you made it this far, you are a special kind of person lol. The most epic bore of a blog ever!
<3