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it's midnight. everyone else in my house is asleep. this is when thoughts come in and slowly kill me.

i think about how my relationship isn't going great, how i am feeling unattractive, how i don't really have any close friends, howi can only have fun when i am drinking, how i am going to be a total failure in life, how i haven't paid...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
joscelyne:
I know this doesn't make anything better, but I thought I could sympathize because I can't go out with the usual crowd of friends and be social unless I have a drink. It's already a problem in itself because it's caused me to not go out as much.

It's hard but I just keep reminding myself that it will get better. Somehow.
muller:
If I may,

You are more than just attractive. To be honest, I had a crush on you from the first time we met at Tuffy's for the x-mas party.
As for the fun part, maybe the people you've been hanging out with don't have a creative side that wants to create something, even if it's memories. I'm a huge fan of alcohol, but there are so many more fun things to do to tickle your head.
You might try going to meet people at places that really interest you. The museum of modern art in Santa Barbara has always been a place that I like to visit when in town. Or a venue where music you like is playing. Anything to find people of similar interest.
Even though i'm not an artist, I used to paint a painting without any plan, and then sit back and ponder over it for an hour or so wondering where those ideas came from and tracing them back to pieces of my personality. May seem a little weird, but it was very educational for me.

Crying your eyes out is actually fairly cathartic. Embrace the feelings you feel. I think those are the most honest times in a persons life.

sorry if I bummed you out at all with this rant.
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From a list of plots and themes of stories submitted "too frequently" to Strange Horizons (http://www.strangehorizons.com/), and online magazine of "speculative fiction." The document was compiled in order to provide guidance to potential contributors.

1. Person is (metaphorically) at point A, wants to be at point B. Looks at point B. Looks at point B, says, "I want to be at point B." Goes to...
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likeclockwork:
thats hilarious. i guess i'll have to rework my manuscript about the guy that calls tech support.


puke some of those themes are rediculous. do you work for that publisher?
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i am always second guessing myself.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thesixx:
In what way...?
saruman:
I'm kind of wondering what was the purpose of that bit of perl...
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i voted.

not that... it..... mattered. but i am a nice little part of a very large number. and that makes me feel special.

while i am a little terrified about how this election will turn out, i am not too scared. there is time for a change. i am talking about a huge change of goals, of truths of the direction we as a...
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letigre:
you should apologize for nothing.
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my computer died.
i downloaded that service pack windows update.
fucker killed my baby.

now all it does is keep restarting itself.

it's so sad.
it can't start in safe mode or anything.

and i can't afford to fix it till this damn check clears. GAH!

frown

this week has already started to be the stupidest, worst, bad-week ever..

i hope it can only get better.
krys_____:
don't you hate it when new technology ruins old technology. I don't know what to tell you, my computer lingo isn't up to the point where I could tell you how to fix this.

I hope your week gets better soon. smile
letigre:
i hate computers, especially mine.
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What if the hokey pokey is really what it's all about?
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acidevangelist:
Then we're all FUCKED!
hermetica:
OOOOhhh hokey pokey pokey!!
Knees bend knees bend rah rah rah!

(Sorry it had to be done..!)
Um.. if so, life would be all about knowing your left from right..
hey wait.. maybe it IS what its all about..
(tries not to get all philosophical and arcane)


biggrin
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drunk.

on sunday.

excellent.

time for a ciggy.
maxx:
yeah. I just saw you post that on a thread.
it's kinda scary.

and I'm not drunk. plans fell through