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Member Since 2002

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Wednesday Dec 10, 2003

Dec 10, 2003
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so, apparently americans spend their lives working towards attaining fusion with their family and their fellow peoples. they often have difficulties mantaining long-term, enduring relationships with others. because they are too individual-driven.

maintaining the balance between what you want in life and your need for company of others is the trick.

it's funny that the culture one is in totally determines one's individual relationships and outcome. okay, it's not funny. but i find it all very interesting. i never really stop to take a good look at my culture. i guess i take it for granted, even though i have had major access to many other cultures.

i live my life as a tight rope act between what my parents want and what i want. okay, i kinda lie so that i can be more what i want. but i am sure that in the end what they want for me is essentially better for me than what i want. well, in theory.

--------------------------------
does love actually exist? sometimes i think it's a big conspiracy that we are all told to believe in and hope for and live for in our lives.

but loneliness is the human condition.

instead of working to be well off by ourselves we seem to catapult ourselves into relationships that we hope will pan out, that we hope will lead to the great love.

in high fidelity, love is blamed on pop music. pop music is the reason for heartbreak and for falling in love. so.. is it?

i have recently discovered in my self explorations, that i am not cool. i am no longer "hip" or "with it." maybe i never was. but i have no sense of what is cool anymore. it seems to be better that way.
---------------------------------
i am honestly looking forward to having a few days to myself.

days that i can waste watching tv and painting the time away.

*sigh*
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
leavemehere:
very well put
usually what our parents want is what's better for us
but sometimes i prefer to live at my own pace
do what i feel is better for me
and everything is indeed "in theory"

as for love... i like to think it exists
i thought i found it once
it was love probably... but yeah
that ship has sailed tongue

and yay! for good ebay finds... the person i got it from
had many many prints..
right after i paid for it
there was another of the same one
i was so tempted to buy one of each tongue

hope you're well
xoxo
lmh
Dec 11, 2003
tarbaby:
i have never been in love in the biblical sense. i love my family and i've loved all of my pets. the pets because they unconditionally worship me-i can do no wrong in their eyes, and the feeling is mutual. my family because it's ingrained in me. i don't know what that actually means-it's just that you are expected to love your family. i guess the fact that they have ALWAYS been there for me (as fucked up as i've been). i don't know where i'm going with this, really. i'll end by saying that i miss you-you are going to the sgsf x-mas party, right?

oxoxox
Dec 11, 2003

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