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giddyiguana

Barnwell, SC

Member Since 2004

Followers 39 Following 127

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Thursday May 12, 2005

May 12, 2005
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Thank you all for your sincere expressions of condolences after the tragic loss of my friend Thea. I'd be lying if I said I was "over it"--I miss my friend and probably always will. But, I'm at least finding some measure of peace regarding it.

A very insightful friend of mine named Marcella shared this wisdom with me, and I feel compelled to share it with all of you:

We have two choices when our lives are shattered by tragedy. We can let it overwhelm us and take us under as it did my dear friend Thea, or we can become even more determined not to be defeated by the challenges life deals us.

On a personal level, her death has made me even more determined than ever not to waste my own potential. I will work harder than ever now to fulfill my own potential, in memory of her.

Suicides leave terrible scars on those of us who are left behind. This is not the first time this tragedy has struck my family: I'll never have the opportunity to get to know my mom's brother Phillip and sister Anne, since both took their own lives long before I had the chance to meet them.

But, we must not let the tragedy in our lives lead to more tragedy. We must find a way to carry on. We all wish such tragedies never happened, that Thea had not been so horribly mistreated or that she could have been strong enough to survive the attack. But, we cannot change what has happened, we can only be determined not to let more tragedy come from it. We can only promise ourselves that we will be strong enough to survive the loss, that we will live on and do the things our loved ones had hoped to do. We can now do those things for them as well as ourselves, in memory of them.

As for the person responsible for abusing Thea...he will have to live with the knowledge of what he's done. Surely he knows by now that there is blood on his hands. The Creator who made the moth I referred to in my last journal entry has designed us so that such sins become their own worst punishments sooner or later. Though my desire for revenge is both understandable and justified, I also know that judgment is best left to the Nameless One. It is the nature of reality that what goes around comes around with a vengence far greater than anything we could deliver. The greatest torments are those we suffer in the quiet of our own souls. So, I will leave the perpetrator to God and trust that in the greater scheme of things, justice will always be served.

And perhaps my sorrow did serve a purpose. I sent a copy of my last journal entry to all my close friends and family. One wrote me back and thanked me for sending that to her. Unbeknownst to me, she had been considering just "giving up on it all" herself, but my words made her think twice about her decision. Who knows, I may have inadvertently saved a life by expressing my grief over the loss of another.

So thank you again....I love you all.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
danielle:
yeah, nad in fact i think i have one of me holding an iguana.
May 18, 2005
devachka:
No...I wasn't referring to you. Mainly one person inpaticular...

What three things would you most like to accomplish?
Total independence, to get more into natural medicine and healing/being able to do that for a living, and to travel all over the world.

What is under your bed?
Nothing...that's bad for Feng Shui...

What do you want for your next birthday?
Plants, stones and herbs. I'm not hard to please. wink
May 18, 2005

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