So...i'm back 
Yay i can see hot nekkid girls again! hehe
i've missed everyone on here..i'm glad to be back.
i've been through a whole lot since i've been gone...so i feel a tad overwhelmed trying to write.
i've had several really bad "episodes" (bipolar) lately that has made my work cut me to part time for missing so much work, and i'm in a PHP program..which is partial hospitlization program. basically it means i go to group therapy 5 days a week from 9:30am to 2 pm..*sigh* it's going ok...i've really met some interesting people in group.
i'm also on 3 medications now!
lexapro, abilify, and gabitril. for about 2 weeks before I got on gabitril, i couldn't sit still literally, i kept shaking, felt tired all the time, and really just didn't feel right in my skin. it was hell! it was all from the medicine...the gabitril helps the anxiety now, but i still feel quite restless.
i've also had quite a hard time with my boyfriend. we have so much fun together... he makes me laugh..and he brings me food just to be sweet. he's a wonderful boyfriend, with the exception of when he drinks heavily. we have a good time drinking beers together, and I can't keep up with how many he's had... nor can i tell when he's really drunk until he begins arguing with random people about random shit. i don't know, i think he knows he needs to slow down some. i hope he does...
I need to say how supportive he's been through my starting therapy, etc. It's helped me tremendously to have his support.
anyway, we're having "space" right now. have you ever felt so numb to the world that you don't feel anything? that's the way i've been feeling. i just feel blah... and i don't know how to kickstart emotions....that really doesn't make much sense!
it's been hard knowing i've hurt him, i just have felt so smothered and feeling like i don't have much of anything to offer a relationshiip.
anyway, my arm hurts from typing..wow what a wuss i am!
oh, and work sucks.
i must go there in about an hour. blech.
i'm out!
ps - i have been feeling the itch for a nice female friend though lately.
haha i'm so bad.
Yay i can see hot nekkid girls again! hehe
i've missed everyone on here..i'm glad to be back.
i've been through a whole lot since i've been gone...so i feel a tad overwhelmed trying to write.
i've had several really bad "episodes" (bipolar) lately that has made my work cut me to part time for missing so much work, and i'm in a PHP program..which is partial hospitlization program. basically it means i go to group therapy 5 days a week from 9:30am to 2 pm..*sigh* it's going ok...i've really met some interesting people in group.
i'm also on 3 medications now!
lexapro, abilify, and gabitril. for about 2 weeks before I got on gabitril, i couldn't sit still literally, i kept shaking, felt tired all the time, and really just didn't feel right in my skin. it was hell! it was all from the medicine...the gabitril helps the anxiety now, but i still feel quite restless.
i've also had quite a hard time with my boyfriend. we have so much fun together... he makes me laugh..and he brings me food just to be sweet. he's a wonderful boyfriend, with the exception of when he drinks heavily. we have a good time drinking beers together, and I can't keep up with how many he's had... nor can i tell when he's really drunk until he begins arguing with random people about random shit. i don't know, i think he knows he needs to slow down some. i hope he does...
I need to say how supportive he's been through my starting therapy, etc. It's helped me tremendously to have his support.
anyway, we're having "space" right now. have you ever felt so numb to the world that you don't feel anything? that's the way i've been feeling. i just feel blah... and i don't know how to kickstart emotions....that really doesn't make much sense!
it's been hard knowing i've hurt him, i just have felt so smothered and feeling like i don't have much of anything to offer a relationshiip.
anyway, my arm hurts from typing..wow what a wuss i am!
oh, and work sucks.
i must go there in about an hour. blech.
i'm out!
ps - i have been feeling the itch for a nice female friend though lately.
haha i'm so bad. VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
I tried Lexapro recently, but had to switch over to the big P. Didn't want to...but what can ya do.