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Hey everyone, I have had extremly limited internet access lately. Please be patient. I'm trying to get my life sorted out and everytime it gets a little better something else out of my control happens.

I'm not ok, but I'm getting better. If this fucking house we share wasn't such an issue I'd feel a lot better.

Full unabridged story later, everyone should bring popcorn.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
torihoney:
what painbearer said. hope things start going your way real soon.
oldsarge:
slimjim sent me, re: SG Mil Group. Will apply ASAP,
stopped here first, J and profile may answer your Qs., if not,
"OVER"- ARRR!!!
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Under the ruins of a walled city
Crumbling towers and beams of yellow light
No flags of truce, no cries of pity
The siege guns had been pounding all through the night
It took a day to build the city
We walked through its streets in the afternoon
As I returned across the field's I'd known
I recognized the walls that I once made
I...
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kosomot:
You go from updating every hour to just not updating. biggrin
Hope all is well. smile
whitewidow:
Hey Baby! Happy January 7th!! biggrin

Kisses kiss kiss
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I had a wonderful night last night. I hung out at my friend Grants parents place. The whole gang dropped by. We sat around and exchanged gifts, drank Krupka, and played Scrabble. Sue stopped in from NYC, she invited me up to visit and I think I'll take her up on her offer. I've known her since she was ten and has grown into quit...
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max16characters:
You wished it in time dude. Merry Christmas.
volkov:
heya there. I'd tried to send it to you via yer contact email thing.

it's

LCPL Anderson, D.R.
3rd PLT B Co. 1/23 Marines
Unit #41904
FPO, AP 96426

I actually move around a bit between 3rd plt and the HQ plt, but that's the easiest way to reach me.

glad to hear you had a good night. drink and scrabble are always good things.

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I don't know what my problem is today. I'm practically crawling out of my own skin. I can't seem to get content. I think I'm uneasy and anxious to start my life over. I'm so unmotivated knowing what a struggle its going to be soon. I really do hate my job, it leaves me so tired and drained. I never realized how much I needed...
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burstandbloom:
Merry
Christmas
knine:
Thnx man, keep hanging in there and remember you are not alone.
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detritus (d-trts)
n. pl. detritus

Loose matter resulting from the wearing away or disintegration of a tissue or substance.


regret ( P ) Pronunciation Key (r-grt)
v. regretted, regretting, regrets
v. tr.
To feel sorry, disappointed, or distressed about.
To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow; mourn.

v. intr.
To feel regret.

n.
A sense of loss and longing for someone or something...
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mike11:
You would love our run then. We get about three pallets of Red Bull every day. They just drop it off with the pallet jack and go.

In March we are taking on more product so we are cutting our routes back to 11 stores. I helped redo the routs so I fixed mine to be 11 stores and maybe, maybe 100 miles. biggrin
I will get done in about 4.5 hours! biggrin
lecia:
Happy Holidays!

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"if i had another last chance
and we met again for the first time

i would listen to your heart
i would start back at the start
there are things id like to say
so many things id like to change" ~ Jets to Brazil

Since you guys liked the last one.

Trust me I've got tons more.

So I broke the fast, I'm twenty...
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latchbeam:
Nice choice. I deleted.
jholtsnider:
And you're eating again. Good stuff. I've been phasing onto the protein diet. And lifting again. Being the 1st Couch Commandant has been bad for the ol' waistline...

What prompted the name change?
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"You can't stay mad at the setting sun"
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phoebus:
Detritus, thanks so much for the info.

I remembered you mentioning Lightfighter today while at work, and I checked out their website. Good stuff, to say the least.

Unfortunately, RBA or Interceptor (without the newest mods, but with the neck collar) is as good as it's going to get. As I said, we're currently going through a really weird time where equipment procurement goes. The Battlefield Airman program was supposed to standardize the groundpounders in the USAF with the best gear, but--predictably--Combat Controllers and Pararescuemen so throught the joke of bean counters picking the item list and kept with their system while Terminal Attack Controllers such as myself are being hamstrung by non-trigger pullers as to what we can buy. I got the kiss of death today... I found out that the item they were going to get me was a rather good Tactical Tailor piece of kit, but which is really not good for my body size. I have to work with that price tag in mind, which is seriously going to hold me back.

All the same, I'll look at the links you gave me pronto, and I'll let the folks there know that Scott from Cuyahoga sent me. Thanks again, amigo--and let me know if you ever need anything within my power.
phoebus:
Oh, and P.S.: since I'll likely be deploying soon, I was wondering if you'd like to take over as SG Warlord again. smile
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Fuck everything, fuck everyone. I have no problem with the reality of this situation, I don't. But I hate when people act like I'm making a big deal out of this. WE HAVE A LEASE, WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE! We share everything. Her parents LIVE ACROSS the street. This makes things ungodly complicated, especially when one of the people involved thinks that if...
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ghettoblaster:
"scott feel free to lose my number.
i've been nothing but a friend to you because i knew you didnt have any friends.
i was an HOUR late meeting brenda because you just had to sit there and talk more and more. did i complain? nope. was i ever mean to you? nope. i forgot that you had screamed in my face. said some real shitty things to me. and i was still there for you.
i looked past you saying "FUCK OFF" and now you putting shit in a thread about how i have ulterior motives about jon. fuck that dude. like i said. feel free to lose my number. and i yours. good lucky trying to find someone to listen to the same bullshit over and over and over. "



Oh really I love this, I do. Wow I'm so sorry I caused you an hours incovenience. Really in light of things thats a pretty tall order. Especially considering you guys were on your way to Jons. Too funny, really I should be more respectful of Jon. I love it.

Loose your number? Why bother you didn't take my calls and blew me off anyway.

I also love that I'm bending over backwards to do the right thing. I have not blamed her or been mean. I have been honest and forthright. I have even tried to be respectful.

But yet, I'm the asshole. I love the I don't have friends part. What I don't have are drinking buddies that I trade in every couple of months. Well I guess I'm missing out. To be honest I don't have many friends, and Brenda is my best friend. But the ones I do have care about me and have been here for me for years. I'm sure that was just a small childish remark to try to hurt me. I am sensitive about it, and I am not very likeable, but there is no crime in being lonely.



[Edited on Dec 21, 2004 4:53PM]
phoebus:
I'm really looking only for one item (or at least recommendations): an assault vest.

Here's where I'm sitting at right now.
Due to some stupid ass fiscal regulations that just got passed for all the USAF specialties that deal with ground combat, and the fact that we have a cheap-ass Light Colonel in charge of equipment procurement for my Group, I'm now stuck with using the RBA/Ranger Body Armor type vest. I'm guessing you probably know what it looks like, but I figure it's better to be safe than sorry...



They offered me the newer Interceptor armor, but it's way too bulky for my frame. Any of the newer plate carriers are out of the question because of a perceived need to make up for previous issues of misallocation/abuse of equipment (not by me). So, I need something that works with the RBA. The slimmer, the better. wink

I've looked at folks like Tactical Tailor (Rifle-style vest) and Blackhawk (DOAV-model vest), for example, but I'm trying to locate other quality vendors who would be able to ship at short notice (I deploy in the second week of January). At this point, I'm more looking for info, because I'm not exactly sure what specific USAF channel the funds would come from (more likely some form of GWOT fund or unit procurement card).

Any info would be appreciated, and I'd be more than glad to try to introduce a new source for gear to our procurement folks.

Again, thanks a ton man. I owe you one!
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I was floored by something she said today. I don't think it was supposed to make me react the way it has.

I am the happiest man alive right now.


Maybe there is something to this "things happen for a reason" thing. It doesn't matter how things wind up now. Hurt me, leave me, love someone else. But the feeling I have right now can...
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phoebus:
Hey man, quick question. I remember you used to work (or still do?) with a tactical outfitter, right?

Do you still recommend them? If so, can you zap me the name/website of the company?
phoebus:
PS, I just got done checking up with half my friends' journals for the past week, and I have to say that I feel like a tremendous assbag.

I'm really sorry that shit had to happen to you, man, though it seems like you're already letting the worst pass over you. I think that the last couple of journal entries show you're looking at things the right way. I still wouldn't say you were in any fault, though.

Take care, and I hope you feel better. If you happen to be in Charleston, SC, for New Years' there's sure to be a party and you can consider yourself invited.
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It's been nine days since I've eaten. I'm actually hungry. But I don't want to eat. I'm dropping weight like a bad habit. What goes in my mouth is about all I can control these days, Lord knows I never could control what was coming out of it. I still haven't really eaten, although for the past couple of days I have had a bannana,...
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uptight:
sounds similar to demetrius_z - but politically different, I'm sure...........
hypercrew:
New name. What gives?