getfighted

Dear Santa,
The time has come again for me to beg you to deliver all things to me tangiable, and not. But I fear this years items may be a bit more difficult than last years.
Last year I asked you to be kind to my friends, and family and give them things they felt they couldnt live without. For most of them you came through just as I knew you would, but you still deprived me of all the things I asked you to bring to me to satisfy my greedy tooth.
This year, Im putting you to the test fat man, and these are the things I am asking of you:
First and foremost, I need the ability to teleport. If nothing else, give me this. Please and thank you.
Secondly, I need that brain helmet from Jimmy Neutron that makes you extremely smart, only without the nasty side effect of an extremely large head.
Third, I still need those homework elves I asked you for last year. I've been doing my own homework since I was old enough to write, and I'm about sick of it.
Next, I'd really appreciate it if you let it rain cash. I'm in desperate need of some.
Also, I'm still waiting on that life for my cousin so he can stay out of mine.
Bring my boyfriend about a million miles closer to me all of the time, and I can deal without everything else on the list.
If you can bring me these things this holiday season, I'd be forever in your debt.
Oh and one last thing.. can you get Nik a stupendous stripper girlfriend who will do whatever he tells her? Like make him a sammich, watch the Transformers movie with him, or watch him play video games? He's waited long enough for her, just give in already.
Thanks Santa, you're a real pal.
Love,
Kara