i had the most amazing weekend of suspending, and bonding with people, and camping, and vegan eating, and fire, and laughing with drunk people, and one glorious shooting star and precicely the right moment.
i have this overwhelming urge to tell you all about it but i must sleep now. i will say that it is possible to weed through all of the bull shit...
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i have this overwhelming urge to tell you all about it but i must sleep now. i will say that it is possible to weed through all of the bull shit...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stitch:
sweet
cimorenne:
wow that's come severe modification you've done to yourself...
spent another hour last night with scalpels opening my skin. it was better for some reason. perhaps because i have accepted, and admitted, that i do it because it is soothing to me. while my leg is being cut i am completely in the moment. it is my garanteed meditation. and hey if the scars stick around then i'll have something to show other freaks,...
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xevilxashleyx:
I think the reason people in the mod community react to cutters with hostility is because people often view cutters as mentally unstable - and let's face it, often times, they are - and people in the mod community don't want that stereotype anymore. And it is easier, for just about everyone, to think of it as art when it's done in such a fashion to come out looking pretty, because people everywhere have a hard time accepting that 1) everyone copes different, and 2) any modification done physically to make you feel better mentally...is still a mod in the end, and it still leaves you with pretty permanent results.
It's all the same, when you get right down to...
Regardless!
I'm happy for you and this Andee girlie of yours! Have no regrets, indeed!
It's all the same, when you get right down to...
Regardless!
I'm happy for you and this Andee girlie of yours! Have no regrets, indeed!
what the fuck was going on here yesterday?
k, bye
p.s. i miss my girlfriend. she's in hawaii.
k, bye
p.s. i miss my girlfriend. she's in hawaii.
mitsukai:
Tell her to bring me back a coconut bra and grass skirt.
casper:
ICE BOX
what the fuck was going on here right now????
confused.
what the fuck was going on here right now????
confused.
new attitude.
new picture.
new girl.
new job.
k, bye.
new picture.
new girl.
new job.
k, bye.
casper:
yaaay for new attitudes.
and its not even new years, and youve already started over, good job.
yes, tit week is always on my calender.
yours is pierced penis week.
and its not even new years, and youve already started over, good job.
yes, tit week is always on my calender.
yours is pierced penis week.
wow this sucks!
after two weeks of feeling really okay i've concluded that i'm not okay with feeling okay, and once again i feel like driving off of a cliff.
k, bye.
after two weeks of feeling really okay i've concluded that i'm not okay with feeling okay, and once again i feel like driving off of a cliff.
k, bye.
xevilxashleyx:
What! Not fifteen minutes before you typed this, you left me a comment that said things couldn't be better!
What happened in so short a time to make you go spiraling down again?
What happened in so short a time to make you go spiraling down again?
happy happy joy joy happy happy joy joy
one hundred thirty miles per hour
hanging out with a really cute girl with whom i shared the pleasure of driving aimlessly for three hours, then we walked her dog and talked for forty five minutes, huged goodnight and confirmed it would be nice to do it again sometime.
no meaningless sex, or kissing because we couldn't...
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one hundred thirty miles per hour
hanging out with a really cute girl with whom i shared the pleasure of driving aimlessly for three hours, then we walked her dog and talked for forty five minutes, huged goodnight and confirmed it would be nice to do it again sometime.
no meaningless sex, or kissing because we couldn't...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
casper:
its about time you post your peep.
very well done.
very well done.
xevilxashleyx:
Hey you, way over there! How're things?
okay, life is good again!
my internet has been restored!
i didn't pick alex up from the airport(no i didn't blow her out, i left a message). now i just need to get through the weekend without acting on the lie that i want to see her. i need to listen to those people in my life that care enough to tell me the truth....
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my internet has been restored!
i didn't pick alex up from the airport(no i didn't blow her out, i left a message). now i just need to get through the weekend without acting on the lie that i want to see her. i need to listen to those people in my life that care enough to tell me the truth....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pixidust:
i think you can see the stars there i hope so!!!!
mercie:
yes, yay indeed for disease books and camera phones! 
just when i was coming to terms with the fact that 'we' were over, through, quit, i get a call. it was a week before her birthday and i thought it would be a good idea to send a card, it wasn't. she called a few days after i sent it, quicker than i thought she would recieve it, i thought it was my friend...
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kallisti:
You don't need to be with anyone to be happy.
You don't seem happy as yourself.
It's unhealthy.
Perpetually unhappy.
Love yourself first and everything falls into place.
This is the second time I've said that this week.
It makes me sad to see so many people in this state of being, state of mind.
Love is letting go.
True love is very empty of complicated emotions.
If you care to discuss the matter... drop me a line.
You don't seem happy as yourself.
It's unhealthy.
Perpetually unhappy.
Love yourself first and everything falls into place.
This is the second time I've said that this week.
It makes me sad to see so many people in this state of being, state of mind.
Love is letting go.
True love is very empty of complicated emotions.
If you care to discuss the matter... drop me a line.
xevilxashleyx:
Unfortunately, it's true - real, honest, true love is devoid of complications and obligations. It's letting go and knowing that everything will be ok.
Feeling like you have to be with someone to be happy isn't healthy. You really do need to love yourself, and I mean really, honestly love yourself before you can allow anyone else to really love you...and before you can really love anyone else.
Let her go. For real this time. Call her back and tell her that you can't do it, send her an email, something. Tell her that something came up or whatever. ANYTHING. But...let her go and forget about her; she's obviously not good for you, lovey and you need to stop being so self depreciative. It's detrimental to your health!
Oh, I wish I could help you, but this is one of those things that no one else can really help you with! You have to love yourself, and I don't think anyone else can really help you do that...
Best of luck, and if you need to talk...you know how to get me.
Feeling like you have to be with someone to be happy isn't healthy. You really do need to love yourself, and I mean really, honestly love yourself before you can allow anyone else to really love you...and before you can really love anyone else.
Let her go. For real this time. Call her back and tell her that you can't do it, send her an email, something. Tell her that something came up or whatever. ANYTHING. But...let her go and forget about her; she's obviously not good for you, lovey and you need to stop being so self depreciative. It's detrimental to your health!
Oh, I wish I could help you, but this is one of those things that no one else can really help you with!
You have to love yourself, and I don't think anyone else can really help you do that...
Best of luck, and if you need to talk...you know how to get me.
finally!
no, my internet access has not yet been restored. my friend colin let me use his machine so i've posted a few pictures. only a few because i have to photoshop all of them and he has to go to work. i already went to work, got off at ten, went to the beach but it was overcast and the water felt freezing, so...
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no, my internet access has not yet been restored. my friend colin let me use his machine so i've posted a few pictures. only a few because i have to photoshop all of them and he has to go to work. i already went to work, got off at ten, went to the beach but it was overcast and the water felt freezing, so...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
germany:
i'm so bust with the AMF and Burningman and trying to get money to move. another festival would almost kill me from exhaustion.. i will make it to the One festival next year hopefully.... tell me all about it when you get back
xevilxashleyx:
She called? I thought you were past that?! 
Keep your head up, soldier.
And...nice pics!
Keep your head up, soldier.
And...nice pics!
okay, the suspension went really well. my only complaint is that it felt a little too commercial for such a ritual. i wasn't doing it to entertain. i felt much heavier than i thought i would, but for a first experience i am satisfied. i can't wait to do it again i just hope i can find someone with whom i can share it. i...
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sophie_sass:
What kind of man doesn't like blow jobs?!
I passed out when I got my first nipple pierced. It wasn't the pain, it was the blood.
At least we knew it was happening and I got a chance to lay down before I went out. Very awkward experience.
I ran over a lizard once. I felt soooo bad. It committed suicide though. It ran out into the road as I was approaching, I slowed down, it turned back when it saw me coming, then when I started to speed up to go past it it darted back into the road and under my tire before I had the chance to slow down.
Oh, and I'm from Pasadena too.
I passed out when I got my first nipple pierced. It wasn't the pain, it was the blood.
At least we knew it was happening and I got a chance to lay down before I went out. Very awkward experience.
I ran over a lizard once. I felt soooo bad. It committed suicide though. It ran out into the road as I was approaching, I slowed down, it turned back when it saw me coming, then when I started to speed up to go past it it darted back into the road and under my tire before I had the chance to slow down.
Oh, and I'm from Pasadena too.
xevilxashleyx:
I've never passed out, unless heat exhaustion counts...?
But...yay! I'm glad it went well!
The first thing I ever hit was a pigeon. I was getting on the highway and it was in the shadow of an overpass and...BAM! I saw it after it was already too late. It was still alive, though, so I...backed over it to put it out of it's misery.
I cried for-ev-er while parked...on the on ramp. Ha. Like you, the only thing I enjoy hurting is myself, so it was a huge ordeal for me...
But...yay! I'm glad it went well!
The first thing I ever hit was a pigeon. I was getting on the highway and it was in the shadow of an overpass and...BAM! I saw it after it was already too late. It was still alive, though, so I...backed over it to put it out of it's misery.
I cried for-ev-er while parked...on the on ramp. Ha. Like you, the only thing I enjoy hurting is myself, so it was a huge ordeal for me...