just when i was coming to terms with the fact that 'we' were over, through, quit, i get a call. it was a week before her birthday and i thought it would be a good idea to send a card, it wasn't. she called a few days after i sent it, quicker than i thought she would recieve it, i thought it was my friend mark calling from new jersy so i answered the call.
i told her we were no good for each other and asked her if she got the email i had sent, the one that said fuck you, you blew it, i can't trust trust you, etc. after about forty minutes of 'i love you and can't live without you' i agreed to pick her up from the airport on wednesday.
fuck, fuck, fuck! i'm such a lovefool. we can be happy. we are in love. i will do anything for you. the twenty, no fifteen percent, of happiness is worth the eighty-five percent of hell.
i regret answering the phone, saying yes, being such a fucking sap! now i've got myself convinced that we are just going to talk about 'stuff' and she's going to go back to fucking nashville. yea, right we're going to spend five days at her dad's house in pacific palasades, i am going to get all hopeful, kiss her goodbye at the airport,
then go home and cry because i know she is using me again.
all of this going on did not stop me from having lunch with andie. andie, andie, quite contrandy. how do your dreadlocks grow? long and blonde, cute as hell, we met at the punk show. you actually called, i called you back, and then we had a snack. it was really lunch, but anyway...
okay, i'll admit it. i don't like being alone! there, i said it. i'm going to stop now before i... to late.
k, bye
i told her we were no good for each other and asked her if she got the email i had sent, the one that said fuck you, you blew it, i can't trust trust you, etc. after about forty minutes of 'i love you and can't live without you' i agreed to pick her up from the airport on wednesday.
fuck, fuck, fuck! i'm such a lovefool. we can be happy. we are in love. i will do anything for you. the twenty, no fifteen percent, of happiness is worth the eighty-five percent of hell.
i regret answering the phone, saying yes, being such a fucking sap! now i've got myself convinced that we are just going to talk about 'stuff' and she's going to go back to fucking nashville. yea, right we're going to spend five days at her dad's house in pacific palasades, i am going to get all hopeful, kiss her goodbye at the airport,
then go home and cry because i know she is using me again.
all of this going on did not stop me from having lunch with andie. andie, andie, quite contrandy. how do your dreadlocks grow? long and blonde, cute as hell, we met at the punk show. you actually called, i called you back, and then we had a snack. it was really lunch, but anyway...
okay, i'll admit it. i don't like being alone! there, i said it. i'm going to stop now before i... to late.
k, bye
You don't seem happy as yourself.
It's unhealthy.
Perpetually unhappy.
Love yourself first and everything falls into place.
This is the second time I've said that this week.
It makes me sad to see so many people in this state of being, state of mind.
Love is letting go.
True love is very empty of complicated emotions.
If you care to discuss the matter... drop me a line.
Feeling like you have to be with someone to be happy isn't healthy. You really do need to love yourself, and I mean really, honestly love yourself before you can allow anyone else to really love you...and before you can really love anyone else.
Let her go. For real this time. Call her back and tell her that you can't do it, send her an email, something. Tell her that something came up or whatever. ANYTHING. But...let her go and forget about her; she's obviously not good for you, lovey and you need to stop being so self depreciative. It's detrimental to your health!
Oh, I wish I could help you, but this is one of those things that no one else can really help you with!
Best of luck, and if you need to talk...you know how to get me.