OK.
So (minus 3 hours) I spent the last 36 hours at my place of work.
Kind of weird, but that's not what I care about right now.
I really wanted to do this when I was still a teenager, but because of special circumstances I was not able to. So now I will, looking back rather than forward.
So. I'm 20 now. To most people, I don't think it's that significant of a change, other than the fact you're one year closer to that golden 21. For me? It's a big deal. For me, it will probably be the biggest change of thought, rather than action. Ofcourse when I'm 21..things will change hugely. Severe liver damage is one that comes to mind, but that doesn't effect my mind in such a large manner.
Everybody who knows me (hopefully, people who are reading this already do well enough, and if not, you're a creepy as mofo) knows I am a child at heart. I always will be. I'm immature. I hold onto stupid jokes and take them way too far. A swing set, or a slide, or even a Genesis controller and I'm the happiest person in the world. I could go in the ways, but you/I get the jist of it.
Those teenage years were the time where those actions and thoughts were, well, normal. I mean sure, maybe an 19 year old playing a jungle gym ment for 7 year olds is a little strange, but you know what I mean damnit. There are the memories I still joke about, and probably will continue to forever. And it's not about living in the past, I make new jokes, but almost all of them seem to be in the same vein of things. I still say "I LOVE hotdogs" every time I fart. I still know almost all the words to static-x's "push it". So now its abnormal of me to act like a kid, or childish. Now I'm a 'Man' or an "Adult" by most peoples standards, age. So, I'm held responsible because of my age.
I've even kind of lost the original point. The original point? I don't really want to be 20. I want to be 14 again. I want to run out to the hills and slide down them covering my pants in grass stains. I want to throw rocks at jellyfish, and when a woman comes and asks me what we're doing, I want to pull an excuse out of my ass and be believable. I want to stay up until 9 am in the morning playing the same fighting game over and over, crying because I'm in so much pain from hunger and my bladder about to burst, all mixed in with tears of laughter from M.Bison jumping into flames of death. I want to croogle.
But I'm not going to be 14. I look forward to being 20. I look forward to having my life progressing in the natural way, turning 21, learning new things about cooking, eventually opening my own place. Hell. I'm going to staff my restaurant with all those who are close around me ( who ironically now seem to all have restaurant experience?) It's going to be fun, I have no doubt about that, but the fun will probably change. The excitement of going to a playground will diminish until it's gone probably. I have no doubt when Elias, Aaron and I are 35, we will probably still play video games until wii(HA! PUN!) hours of the morning. Making bad jokes, creating timeless memories and still revisiting old ones. The chance of Elias and I going to a playground and trying to fit into some block-death-trap and getting out ass's stuck in it because we're way too big? Probably not as great.
I had a lot of good memories of my teenage years. Most people think "FUCK! Finally I'm not a teenager anymore!" and then years and years later look back at it as the best times of their life. I'm looking back at it now, knowing it has been some of the best times of my life. I know I will continue to have good times, probably even better. Hell I know it. But I'll still miss it.
Before I turned 20, I got my Minion Soldier tattoo. For me, my tattoo's are a physical representation of myself. That was my childhood. Now, I'm getting a new tattoo on Tuesday. An Asshole. Not that the physical representation is that I'm an asshole(Well, I am) but that of jokes, and memories. The jokes with Elias and Bri about an asshole on your elbow. It's also a representation of death. Kurt Vonnegut died this year, to me he was one of the most amazing american writers. He wrote in an immature manner(in a way), doodling in his books, about very strange and random things, but all with deeper meanings. So, the physical representation of this one is the death of my childhood, along with others. Not that I'm saying suddenly I am not going to be childish. Fuck no. I will be making childish jokes my entire life, thank god my profession not only allows it but encourages it.
So. This is to my friends who have been with me the last 10 years.
Elias, you've been my best friend for 10 years. There's nothing to me that could ever change that. You didn't ditch me when I was an asshole with a crazy bitch girlfriend. I didn't ditch you when I found out you were gay (fag). If I have a memory of the last 10 years, an inside joke, or simply anything I think back on or tell a story of, it's almost always you're a part of it, or remember it.
Aaron, while it hasn't been 10 years, it's been awhile. And once again, there's the same thing. If there's a joke, you're almost always in on it. Hell. Me and Elias have a lot of weird jokes, but I don't think a single one of them has been around as prominate as the "I LOVE hot dogs" Fuck. We almost moved in together. And in all honesty, I think you're one of my first friends who I've confided in, and has talked about a lot of deeper, personal things, but at the same time had the same time of friendship me and Elias have, of jokes and whatnot. Often or not I seem to seperate the two. I have joke friends and then some serious friends. You're the first to encompass both, and I really treasure that (and treasure. \m/)
Bri. Fuck. I don't even know where to start, I don't think I should.. You were a lot of firsts for me. That alone makes you a kind of immortal memory. Not to mention the fucking awesome summers we had in Shelton with Elias. As with Elias and Aaron, everyone who I feel is actually close to me seems so far away in physical distance. I've always felt close to you, and will always value you as one of my best friends, even in we are rarely in contact anymore.
There's a lot of other memories and friends I've made, had and lost in the last 10 years. Jokes at school. English at Bayview, Mao with Miles and Keith and Andrew. I have endless memories, and many friends I've made along the way. But I've never been one to make many close friends. I'm a...disagreeable person in a way. The way most people just plain don't like me. So, I value friendships greatly. I made the mistake of taking that for granted for almost 2 years. But I promise you all, it will never happen again. And, day after day I was screaming on the inside to be your friends again. Everyone has moment when they're deep in shit, and friends pull them up. If you guys know it or not, the day you hid in my apartment and scared/surprised the shit out of me was one of those moment. You made me happier than anyone has ever made me before.
So. I'm 20. I'm excited about whats in store. I'll miss the memories of past, the lack of responsibility, but I won't miss my friends. They're still here with me, and thats what made my teenage years so great, my friends.
So (minus 3 hours) I spent the last 36 hours at my place of work.
Kind of weird, but that's not what I care about right now.
I really wanted to do this when I was still a teenager, but because of special circumstances I was not able to. So now I will, looking back rather than forward.
So. I'm 20 now. To most people, I don't think it's that significant of a change, other than the fact you're one year closer to that golden 21. For me? It's a big deal. For me, it will probably be the biggest change of thought, rather than action. Ofcourse when I'm 21..things will change hugely. Severe liver damage is one that comes to mind, but that doesn't effect my mind in such a large manner.
Everybody who knows me (hopefully, people who are reading this already do well enough, and if not, you're a creepy as mofo) knows I am a child at heart. I always will be. I'm immature. I hold onto stupid jokes and take them way too far. A swing set, or a slide, or even a Genesis controller and I'm the happiest person in the world. I could go in the ways, but you/I get the jist of it.
Those teenage years were the time where those actions and thoughts were, well, normal. I mean sure, maybe an 19 year old playing a jungle gym ment for 7 year olds is a little strange, but you know what I mean damnit. There are the memories I still joke about, and probably will continue to forever. And it's not about living in the past, I make new jokes, but almost all of them seem to be in the same vein of things. I still say "I LOVE hotdogs" every time I fart. I still know almost all the words to static-x's "push it". So now its abnormal of me to act like a kid, or childish. Now I'm a 'Man' or an "Adult" by most peoples standards, age. So, I'm held responsible because of my age.
I've even kind of lost the original point. The original point? I don't really want to be 20. I want to be 14 again. I want to run out to the hills and slide down them covering my pants in grass stains. I want to throw rocks at jellyfish, and when a woman comes and asks me what we're doing, I want to pull an excuse out of my ass and be believable. I want to stay up until 9 am in the morning playing the same fighting game over and over, crying because I'm in so much pain from hunger and my bladder about to burst, all mixed in with tears of laughter from M.Bison jumping into flames of death. I want to croogle.
But I'm not going to be 14. I look forward to being 20. I look forward to having my life progressing in the natural way, turning 21, learning new things about cooking, eventually opening my own place. Hell. I'm going to staff my restaurant with all those who are close around me ( who ironically now seem to all have restaurant experience?) It's going to be fun, I have no doubt about that, but the fun will probably change. The excitement of going to a playground will diminish until it's gone probably. I have no doubt when Elias, Aaron and I are 35, we will probably still play video games until wii(HA! PUN!) hours of the morning. Making bad jokes, creating timeless memories and still revisiting old ones. The chance of Elias and I going to a playground and trying to fit into some block-death-trap and getting out ass's stuck in it because we're way too big? Probably not as great.
I had a lot of good memories of my teenage years. Most people think "FUCK! Finally I'm not a teenager anymore!" and then years and years later look back at it as the best times of their life. I'm looking back at it now, knowing it has been some of the best times of my life. I know I will continue to have good times, probably even better. Hell I know it. But I'll still miss it.
Before I turned 20, I got my Minion Soldier tattoo. For me, my tattoo's are a physical representation of myself. That was my childhood. Now, I'm getting a new tattoo on Tuesday. An Asshole. Not that the physical representation is that I'm an asshole(Well, I am) but that of jokes, and memories. The jokes with Elias and Bri about an asshole on your elbow. It's also a representation of death. Kurt Vonnegut died this year, to me he was one of the most amazing american writers. He wrote in an immature manner(in a way), doodling in his books, about very strange and random things, but all with deeper meanings. So, the physical representation of this one is the death of my childhood, along with others. Not that I'm saying suddenly I am not going to be childish. Fuck no. I will be making childish jokes my entire life, thank god my profession not only allows it but encourages it.
So. This is to my friends who have been with me the last 10 years.
Elias, you've been my best friend for 10 years. There's nothing to me that could ever change that. You didn't ditch me when I was an asshole with a crazy bitch girlfriend. I didn't ditch you when I found out you were gay (fag). If I have a memory of the last 10 years, an inside joke, or simply anything I think back on or tell a story of, it's almost always you're a part of it, or remember it.
Aaron, while it hasn't been 10 years, it's been awhile. And once again, there's the same thing. If there's a joke, you're almost always in on it. Hell. Me and Elias have a lot of weird jokes, but I don't think a single one of them has been around as prominate as the "I LOVE hot dogs" Fuck. We almost moved in together. And in all honesty, I think you're one of my first friends who I've confided in, and has talked about a lot of deeper, personal things, but at the same time had the same time of friendship me and Elias have, of jokes and whatnot. Often or not I seem to seperate the two. I have joke friends and then some serious friends. You're the first to encompass both, and I really treasure that (and treasure. \m/)
Bri. Fuck. I don't even know where to start, I don't think I should.. You were a lot of firsts for me. That alone makes you a kind of immortal memory. Not to mention the fucking awesome summers we had in Shelton with Elias. As with Elias and Aaron, everyone who I feel is actually close to me seems so far away in physical distance. I've always felt close to you, and will always value you as one of my best friends, even in we are rarely in contact anymore.
There's a lot of other memories and friends I've made, had and lost in the last 10 years. Jokes at school. English at Bayview, Mao with Miles and Keith and Andrew. I have endless memories, and many friends I've made along the way. But I've never been one to make many close friends. I'm a...disagreeable person in a way. The way most people just plain don't like me. So, I value friendships greatly. I made the mistake of taking that for granted for almost 2 years. But I promise you all, it will never happen again. And, day after day I was screaming on the inside to be your friends again. Everyone has moment when they're deep in shit, and friends pull them up. If you guys know it or not, the day you hid in my apartment and scared/surprised the shit out of me was one of those moment. You made me happier than anyone has ever made me before.
So. I'm 20. I'm excited about whats in store. I'll miss the memories of past, the lack of responsibility, but I won't miss my friends. They're still here with me, and thats what made my teenage years so great, my friends.