One week later and I'm still fucking pissed about my paternal haircut. I look like I should be wearing a "kiss the cook" apron while grilling in the backyard for friends and family. 
I was drunk, so maybe he made me wear that haggard shirt to emphasize the "neo-conservative" look he was going for. And for all intents and purposes, I think it's only fair to show the culprit of my long-lost greasy locks.
See, really what I was going for were Jewish payas(sp?), which are the orthodox sideburns, minus growing along your jaw line. I don't know. They sound stupid, but I was extremely close to being able to do it until the fucker snip-snipped. Blah.
So, I ended up going to a wedding last Saturday in which my girlfriend was a bride's maid. As a result, I was placed at a table not knowing anyone or anything. I had never even met the groom or bride. Being the excellent guest I am, four others invited me out to the parking lot to smoke pot. I'm in no way an avid pot smoker...maybe 3 times a year. However, the boredom and uncontrollable tension drove me to hit the pipe a few times.
11 rum and cokes, five hits of pot, and 10 cigarettes later, I was thrusting my pelvis into the hollow knight with great force.
In reality, I became the party favor and people enjoyed my presence because they were able to point and laugh. I was the white boy at the Italian wedding.
I was drunk, so maybe he made me wear that haggard shirt to emphasize the "neo-conservative" look he was going for. And for all intents and purposes, I think it's only fair to show the culprit of my long-lost greasy locks.
See, really what I was going for were Jewish payas(sp?), which are the orthodox sideburns, minus growing along your jaw line. I don't know. They sound stupid, but I was extremely close to being able to do it until the fucker snip-snipped. Blah.
So, I ended up going to a wedding last Saturday in which my girlfriend was a bride's maid. As a result, I was placed at a table not knowing anyone or anything. I had never even met the groom or bride. Being the excellent guest I am, four others invited me out to the parking lot to smoke pot. I'm in no way an avid pot smoker...maybe 3 times a year. However, the boredom and uncontrollable tension drove me to hit the pipe a few times.
11 rum and cokes, five hits of pot, and 10 cigarettes later, I was thrusting my pelvis into the hollow knight with great force.
In reality, I became the party favor and people enjoyed my presence because they were able to point and laugh. I was the white boy at the Italian wedding.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
soleils:
That is one HILARIOUS picture!
maxi:
hmm if you intend to get lucky with that knight, i suggest you going to get some WD40 first, works wonders, LOL MMM lobster, don't worry the chances of me sating my craving with that are about as possible as you getting some too. i gotta a tuna sandwich instead.