There's a slim to good chance I'll get my tattoo started tonight. That would be awesome! It's a GIANT Tony Millionaire piece and I'm way excited.
My roomate said the nicest thing to/about me last night. I cam home from the Clem Snide show rambling about how Eef Barzelay's strange antics were so endearing to me, he interrupted to say that I was "way nicer to talk about music with because (I'm) sincere", apparently more so than a couple of the uber-cool record store guys he used to work with. I was flattered.
It's been two years since the breakup and almost twice as long apart as we were together. I say this because I'm finally just getting to where I'm ok with it. I mean I actually can hang out with her and her new guy. they've all been nice but each had a glaring flaw I thought she should be able to see. The new one is nice, too. But he's the first one I didn't hold a dislike to immediately. Strangely several are friends of mine now. GOOD friends, some of them. And that's just as weird.
I told her the other day I felt like starting a punk band with them or a motorcycle club, "The Ex-(her-name-here)s"
I still hold back all the time. I chase girls that are dead-ends because I KNOW they're dead-ends. That way I won't ever let it build into anything that can hurt me.
I had the best time with a lovely girl from Utah, who was in town on a whim and hen just as quickly she was gone. I've also rebuilt communications with a girl that used to make me laugh, though that, too was meant to be a recreational relationship. And strangely they remind me of each other in many ways.
I turned 38 this year and when I go out to the bars with friends, I consistently end up smiling-talking to- getting asked out by YOUNG girls; 24, 22, 19. I know I sound like Brer Rabbit about the briar patch but it's only fun temporarily. I certainly don't mean to imply anything condescending about them or be insulting to them in any way. They're great, pretty, full of life and yet... it's not that they're dumb, mostly, but they certainly show often that there's a graphic lack of life-experience between me and them.
And the girls, ...women, my age are... incurable. Concrete. Not because of their age, but because of situations they've let themselves endure until it changed them. Jade them. Turn their hearts hard. Not only to men, because they keep trying that, but to life. To all the wonder and mystery of this amazing, beautiful, violent, torturous, sublime, fucked-up world we crawl around on. And I don't want someone like that.
Is that why so many of the morons I went to school with shacked up and paired off so early? Is it better to find someone before the world covers them in a layer of hardened shit, so that layer covers you both, and at least there's someone in there to share your hate and bitterness with?
That's really depressing, and I don't wanna think about that shit right now.
I'ma go listen to Clem Snide
My roomate said the nicest thing to/about me last night. I cam home from the Clem Snide show rambling about how Eef Barzelay's strange antics were so endearing to me, he interrupted to say that I was "way nicer to talk about music with because (I'm) sincere", apparently more so than a couple of the uber-cool record store guys he used to work with. I was flattered.
It's been two years since the breakup and almost twice as long apart as we were together. I say this because I'm finally just getting to where I'm ok with it. I mean I actually can hang out with her and her new guy. they've all been nice but each had a glaring flaw I thought she should be able to see. The new one is nice, too. But he's the first one I didn't hold a dislike to immediately. Strangely several are friends of mine now. GOOD friends, some of them. And that's just as weird.
I told her the other day I felt like starting a punk band with them or a motorcycle club, "The Ex-(her-name-here)s"
I still hold back all the time. I chase girls that are dead-ends because I KNOW they're dead-ends. That way I won't ever let it build into anything that can hurt me.
I had the best time with a lovely girl from Utah, who was in town on a whim and hen just as quickly she was gone. I've also rebuilt communications with a girl that used to make me laugh, though that, too was meant to be a recreational relationship. And strangely they remind me of each other in many ways.
I turned 38 this year and when I go out to the bars with friends, I consistently end up smiling-talking to- getting asked out by YOUNG girls; 24, 22, 19. I know I sound like Brer Rabbit about the briar patch but it's only fun temporarily. I certainly don't mean to imply anything condescending about them or be insulting to them in any way. They're great, pretty, full of life and yet... it's not that they're dumb, mostly, but they certainly show often that there's a graphic lack of life-experience between me and them.
And the girls, ...women, my age are... incurable. Concrete. Not because of their age, but because of situations they've let themselves endure until it changed them. Jade them. Turn their hearts hard. Not only to men, because they keep trying that, but to life. To all the wonder and mystery of this amazing, beautiful, violent, torturous, sublime, fucked-up world we crawl around on. And I don't want someone like that.
Is that why so many of the morons I went to school with shacked up and paired off so early? Is it better to find someone before the world covers them in a layer of hardened shit, so that layer covers you both, and at least there's someone in there to share your hate and bitterness with?
That's really depressing, and I don't wanna think about that shit right now.
I'ma go listen to Clem Snide
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very cool