gentlegiant

Its early, i havent slept and im watching a sappy romance movie. Its about two best friends, ones gay, one is straight. the gay one moves away, is living with a woman and the straight one comes to stay with them, straight and woman fall in love, eventually its like a 3 person parenthood when they end up with a kid, move into a house etc. Mother takeskid and leaves when she realizes that the two guys are more in love with each other then either are with her.

So im sitting here, wondering how a straight man and a gay man can love each other, be in love. never have sex, never kiss, never be intimate, but there in love with each other. and at first i didnt understand it, but then i realized, and I realized something else too. Thats why I fall in love with anyone and everyone. I dont think i have ever had someone in my life, family or friend, that I really truly love. I care for my family, i dont want to see anyone die, it would tear me apart, but im not in love with anyone, I dont love anyone. not like a person should

I wish i knew why.

It kinda scares me to think that maybe I'm incapable of it, or if not incapable, that noone has ever shown me how.. How do you love someone? How do you know when you really do love someone?

Anyway.. thats my deep thoughts for today.