Well, i am in turmoil.
So much going on...too tired to type full stories.
a friend of mine..or rather o thought she may have been an ex friend...she called me today. She hadnt talke to me in about 2 months. I called once or twice, to see how her and her dad were doing. her dad was battling cancer...was battling...he called because he lost today around noon...passed away. I didnt answer the phone when she called...i was bitter about the fact that she hadnt talked to me for such a long period of time when i had attempted to make contact. Then she leaves the message. i fought with myself all day about whether or not to call her. I was being very selfish and thinking, why should i call her back, just because her dad passed away? Well, i guess i came to the conclusion that my feelings really dont apply here...she just lost her father...her dad...her daddy...she always was very close to him and it would be like me losing...well, lets not delve into that.
had to go outside and tell people to shut up. i hate living here and working here. i hate that people depend on m to keep the peace and make sure the community is quiet. i'm tired. i dont want to have to issue warning notices. i really dont.
j went to a bachelor party and there were strippers. not that i particularly minded them having strippers...i minded when i found out from him the next morning that he grabbed a tit and smacke an ass.....
yes, yes i know thats what strippers do. and yes, yes, i understand that people do things at bachelor parties that they wouldnt normally do. But, goddamn if i wasnt fucking infuriated. i didnt want to be. i wanted to not care one way or the other. i wanted to just pretend that i didnt care if he was gone or not. but damn, i do care.
grrr.
So much going on...too tired to type full stories.
a friend of mine..or rather o thought she may have been an ex friend...she called me today. She hadnt talke to me in about 2 months. I called once or twice, to see how her and her dad were doing. her dad was battling cancer...was battling...he called because he lost today around noon...passed away. I didnt answer the phone when she called...i was bitter about the fact that she hadnt talked to me for such a long period of time when i had attempted to make contact. Then she leaves the message. i fought with myself all day about whether or not to call her. I was being very selfish and thinking, why should i call her back, just because her dad passed away? Well, i guess i came to the conclusion that my feelings really dont apply here...she just lost her father...her dad...her daddy...she always was very close to him and it would be like me losing...well, lets not delve into that.
had to go outside and tell people to shut up. i hate living here and working here. i hate that people depend on m to keep the peace and make sure the community is quiet. i'm tired. i dont want to have to issue warning notices. i really dont.
j went to a bachelor party and there were strippers. not that i particularly minded them having strippers...i minded when i found out from him the next morning that he grabbed a tit and smacke an ass.....
yes, yes i know thats what strippers do. and yes, yes, i understand that people do things at bachelor parties that they wouldnt normally do. But, goddamn if i wasnt fucking infuriated. i didnt want to be. i wanted to not care one way or the other. i wanted to just pretend that i didnt care if he was gone or not. but damn, i do care.
grrr.
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