genevieve

Ok...update eh?

what I've been thinking lately
by genevieve

I think its an especially, difficult task to have and keep friends. People you thought would never be around very long seem to stay. People you thought would be great to hang with for an extended period of time--because lest face it, no one is "forever"--tend to fade away into your distant memory. I only think about these people now and then and wonder what they're doing. Dreaming of how their life may or may not have changed. Here they are in no particular order

1. Reanna. Reanna and I were serious buds that whole period of time i was waiting tables and getting involved with the infamous, Will. We worked at the same place, hung out after work and partied. Spent weekends hanging out. I especially thought we would've been closer when I had found out I was pregnant. She already had a child, Zoe, i think she was like two. but Zoe didnt actually live with Reanna. Her grandmother was raising her and Reanna was trying to make money. And party. Dont get me wrong she loves her daughter, but maybe at the time she just wasnt ready to give it up. a little selfish, i agree. Anyway, I getting a little lost here. At some point I realized we were very much not the same type of people. I had different ideas and views. life had changed me into striving for the future. I still wonder about her.

2. Joe. Joseph BOGGS Cardosi. Something interesting about this guy. I really thought this would still be a friend. Funny how things go sometimes. Stil call him here and there to guilt him. Its still a new end. Strange to say "new end" huh? Seems to fit here. Anyway, its still fresh. Not so much a wound because its understandable what has happened. We are very similar. If I dont call, you dont call, all parties give up. Draw.

3. Leah. Ms. Leah Vaurigaud. French ya know. This ones a little different. I'm not sure if it is a "doomed" friendship. Its strange. Its at that unsteady ground that makes it weird right now. we had a bit of a separation. she went in a different direction i was, kind of wild state, that i was too tired for. I just didnt want to be out partying all night. I didnt feel like bar hopping and guy chasing. I was there. Justin and I had moved in together. Things were really changing. My family was forming. And I know that it was hard for Leah because she has already wanted all of that stuff. She was going through this grieving process over the fact that the things and people she had recently been involved with didnt seem to be providing her with it. her life wasn't doing what she wanted, mine was. This was something i had never anticipated before. I had always assumed that i would die young, never marry, never bear children. Not that I was totally against those things, but i just didnt see it. Now I already have a child and someone wants to come in and be a family with us? Ugh. Never mind. Tangent.


Then there are those people you never thought you would be close to, you are very close to. My friend Darrah! I never thought we would end up being as close as we are. I met her when she came to work at the same restaurant i was working at. We partied and worked a couple of times together. we knew each other for a short period of time before i became pregnant and had to leave my job. Then she started calling me. She got a new job at an apartment community and talked to me everyday from work. She babysat lyric when she got older. Thats auntie darrah. We llived together. I love her.

Seth was defintely a surprise. We were together at one period of time that was a bit horrendous. (sp?) Dont get me wrong, I do believe it had alot of good stuff. But the bad stuff was really, really, bad. It ended horribly. Fighting. Actually hitting. hitting of steering wheels. hitting of seth. Bad, bad stuff. then magically, just the way i met him the first time, i talk to him again, the first time in two years i believe, on the fucking internet. let that be a lesson to ya kids...anyway, it starts off bad. almost catty. then it changed. i got somethings off my chest. got some off of his. he becomes the godfather of Lyric. And I do love him. He gets on my nerves and I bitch about seeing him. But i know why.

Once in a while, you get a friend that fits in both. You met them and always thought you'd be friends. And you are. So, Shaneka, dont worry. I'm proud of you. I understand who you are, I understand what you must do. I understand why you do what you do. I love you. We'll see you soon.

I thought I should "honorable mention" some people who you just dont think you really "friends," but you like them all the same, and your glad that you had them pass in life. Like that day you'll never forget that old lady that said something funny that time when you were at this place....Mr. Burrito.

Happy Holidays everyone. I think I just got the spirit.