genevieve

I am...believe it or not, homesick. I miss the familiarity and very much feel fish out of water...not that i particularly wanted to be trapped in the water...

it was strange when we left for the last time. it was final. my apartment i called home for 2 years, my city, my job, the people i knew...i was driving away from it and bawling like a big ol baby as we drove out. i am so angry at myself. its like i complained for so long about my home, about the fucked up school systems, people and weather...yet, after being in oklahoma i realized LA really is so unbelieveably unique and i'll miss all those stupid things i always bitched about. i'm sad because we are far from family and friends. i'm at a new job where i know nothing and everything is so new and my heart just sags when i think about going to this new job in this new city out of my new apartment. justin and i have both had the dream that we are back home. he dreamt he was lying on our sofa in our living room...i've dreamt i was sleeping in our bed in our old apartment.

its so weird because i wasnt given the choice really to leave. and i swear to god if one more OKIE asks me if i like it here or tells me about the happening spots i misght just choke em.

ok that was a little bitter...still got some new orleans in me!

oh well. new place. clean slate, yet those so much i just cant erase and i think we may end up going back...one day..maybe..

le sigh...