genetic_freeman

A couple of hours ago Jen asked me if I wanted to go to see The Libertine with her, as we were supposed to see together a few times now. She said she was gonna go get dressed and come get me. I got dressed too, prettied myself up for Jen and waited for her to come..... and then I waited some more. Once again she stood me up. How can she make plans with me and stand me up basically within the hour? This is why I don't make plans with her and don't have her on msn anymore, she always hurts me like this. I love her so much and I try not to talk to her so I can forget and finally be happy without anybody but she keeps coming back just to hurt me. I just don't want to need anybody, I havn't had a girlfriend in like 2 years, basically the only friend I see is probably gonna end up moving to Alberta, I just want to not need anybody so I won't have to try to fill in my wasted days being depressed over the fact that I have no one.

I was making some granola and a pot of mushroom soup today and apparently missed a call from Montanas meaning I missed some work. I needed that shift. I mean really needed it.

Schools back and I'm fucked.

Monique saw that I apparently wrote some nasty stuff about her in my blog a while back because I guess her friend saw it and told her. I don't know which one of her retarded friends saw it but clearly whoever it is must be a douchebag.

I've spent my last few days reading through the sheet music from Cannibal! The Musical. I waste my money too much on shit.

I was good for a long while but I'm back to being completely unhappy with life and because of such my insomnia seems to be kicking in a bit. Luckily I managed to fall asleep for about an hour at around 6 today, but that just means I won't sleep much tonight.

I gained back like 5 pounds... that in itself made me wanna kill myself. I can't make it past the 160 mark, every time I get close I fuck it up with some eatting spree. And I was doing good today until my family ordered pizza and it taunted me so much I had to have some. Once again fucking me over. Fuck I hate myself so much, and I fucking hate Jen too, no, I love her, fuck.