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genericname

Portland

Member Since 2004

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Friday Oct 15, 2004

Oct 14, 2004
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*yawn* Nickus9@hotmail.com is my email

andthentheresme7 is my AIM

feel free to get in contact etc. Since i may be leaving SG depending on how much money i have when i move out.

and while im at it let me talk about things to myself on this journal.

*Rant beggining* <----- (warning)

I cant be in a relationship im hopeless haha... i cant trust the other person. I have to monitor the relationship to make sure everything is "nominal" and if it isnt then i have to make sure i take precautions in ever which way so i am as safe as possible.
If i feel something is wrong ill bring it up and talk about it but if the person feels nothing is wrong then ill realize i was just putting stuff together and worrying too much.
But what if im right sometime about something being wrong? It would be good that i took that precaution because i can get ready for a let down, i can get ready for the person to once again change their mind like they always do or fall out of the desire to be with me.
Its the only way i can get ready and brace myself so i dont get shredded to pieces!
Its the only defense i have, and why should i trust anyone? they are all human just like me! They dont deserve to be trusted... they will fuck up with all their problems just like i fuck up with my problems.
All of them say and claim the same things... wish to be my savior and show me what a "real" woman is like... then all of them somehow catch me off guard because they trick me into putting my guard down. They trick me into believing that if somethings wrong ill just know... that i dont have to monitor things so heavily.
But guess what?!?! NEWS FLASH! you women DONT fucking say when somethigns wrong. You are GODDAMN SILENT!!
You stay silent, just like you sometimes are when NOTHINGS wrong so how am i suppoed to tell the difference?
You get far apart during silence.... and that same silence can mean that nothigns wrong.
SO I HAVE to wonder about it I HAVE to put it into consideration becausde theres almost always a 50/50 chance that your up to something and i am in the dark about it.
How will i ever know? i wont! i have to investigate and make sure that i get the best chance of understanding that everything is still the way it should be... if not then i have to get ready for the bomb

I have to take cover to keep living.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kas:
I love you and wish the best for you!!! I'm sure everything will work out, HANG ON your 20's won't last forever ( I hear the 30's are much better) kiss kiss
Oct 15, 2004
sunniapocalypse:
i hate being sick.
My cell phone died.
Ill call you when I can get to a phone.
♥

ps. I still like youuuuuuuuuu
Oct 15, 2004

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