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"it's plain to see, it's trying to speak
cherished dreams forever asleep"

Muse - Endlessly

I was searchin for a good line and thats the best i could find in the album. I liked it so much i wanted to share atleast a part of it.
Most of its about love though and even though i could relate to those feelings in the song i wouldent want anyone to get the wrong idea about why i was posting it haha.


I really want to join the army and leave everything... avert my focus onto strengthening... the army is all about getting stronger... whether you like it or not you have no choice but to get stronger.
But on the other hand im terrified of joining the army.. because of the commitment... the strictness i desire yet fear.
Maybe what i really want is to be stranded somewhere so that my reality is forever solid and undenyable. Pulled away from everything and everyone in a place where i know i am definatly alone and that i must look elsewhere for something... something that dosent involve trying to be around people.
I want to force myself from my existance and be pushed into emptyness where other people will never be a solution because there is no one. Or so thats how i feel at the moment.
Sure like most i would cry and wish i could take it back but the truth would be that i couldent, my only choice would be to stand up and keep living even though that option is no longer possible in my life... that option of being around others.
Its the only way to learn.. its the only way to grow strong... so i dont need to be around others so much anymore.