genericname

its funny but i think ive actually seen donnie darko before (im watching it now)
This whole thing about the fright fest and halloween coming up and the weirdo rabbit thing... ive seen it all before i swear i did but when? oh well...
The theories in it made me realize that im not followin my own path... im not taking my ideas and running with them.. im not running at all....
Im standing here contemplating. Im going nowhere.
The emotions im getting because of people and what they are doing, i shouldent be around those emotions.
These people are just people i will talk to, maybe things will happen but they dont exactly step greatly on my line of life... i feel it in my heart... so i guess i wont let what they do as inevitably a couple... bother ME.
They were supposed to have this happen to them, im gone from it now, its alright... things will fall into place but not if i keep standing there thinking about this, i have life that i am supposed to be running with.
It dosent really matter where i run just as long as i am and i do whatever the hell i want while i am... whatever is just... naturally arousing to my mind.
Touch what i want to touch, jump on the stage when they ask for volunteers and it seems like it would be cool, talk to a complete stranger when i feel from the get go that they are special regardles of their ethnicity, age, sex, looks.
Theres so much to me im hiding away because im afraid ill lose control if i just run with it. But in all reality there is no control, and in all reality me hiding is what makes me lose myself.
Maybe this is only a temporary feeling of mine, maybe no one will read all of this but it will always be here for me to read and remember a thought which was valid.
A point which was full of meaning, full of heart and emotion... just like i am... a pure sign of how i create and why i create anything artistic.
I hope from this day forth i have found a reason to flow and a new sense of being.
I hope from this day forth i simply run so that everything falls into place like the way it was supposed to.
I cant keep holding back, i cant keep tryint o constantly look through other peoples eyes before i make a decision...
I know my sight wont be the same as theirs.. i know it will seem strange to some people, but if i dont look through my own eyes i will never be me.. and i cant help what i am...

Its time to look from inside my own body without so much regard towards others perceptions and feelings...
Why? because i know i would never intentionally be a cruel person to people, i would only do my best... and i would only be me... so if i stop worrying about others feelings and perceptions and being respectful to them... if i just go with the flow... my natural personality will take care of the rest.
yes, my natural personality should logically show them the respect i feel that a human deserves anyway, so there is no reason to think so much about it.
This feels like a breakthrough for me.. so i hope it sticks.