I hate thinking about old memories.
Especially memories with people I'm not friends with anymore.
They make me sad.
I don't know.
I don't know why but I've been thinking about Brittany a lot these last few days.
Which is weird.
It's probably Hillary's fault because she's brought her up twice this last couple of weeks.
I miss going to Miami at 10 in the morning and not getting back until 1 in the morning or later.
I miss going to Dennys at 11 at night.
I miss watching Disney movies all night long.
I miss baking until 3 in the morning.
I miss our late night food binges.
I miss that summer where we went to Walmart every night.
And that same summer when we got McDonald's coffee every night right before Walmart.
I still remember you almost always getting the double quarter pounder with large fries and a coke.
I miss the cheesecake filling from walmart.
I miss hair dying.
I miss feeling awkward going to your grandparents house.
I miss talking to you about Adam.
I miss hearing you talk about [insert 'N' name here].
I miss hearing you talk about your new boyfriend (before he was your boyfriend).
I miss going to the mall.
I miss going to Orlando.
I miss going to the beach.
I miss saying we'll always take pictures. But we never did. And now I'm highly disappointed.
I miss trying to capture one of the starfish at the beach.
I miss getting drunk with you (even though I only ever got mad and I'm sorry because it wasn't your fault and I know it).
I miss talking about getting Chinese food but never getting it.
I miss getting lost in Orlando looking for Chinese food.
I miss going to TGIFriday's because we couldn't find Chinese food.
I miss shit talking Dustin.
I miss your power smoking.
I miss our bartender cramming.
I miss our middle of the night piercing.
I miss shit talking people with you.
I miss you.
But I'm too stubborn to give you the apology you deserve.
And to be honest I think deserve one too.
Because we both said some things we shouldn't have.
And it ended 100x quicker than it began.
I need to tell you I'm sorry for leaving in the first place. I shouldn't have given up on you.
But also you should've realized your eating disorder was hurting me.
It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't all we ever talked about.
And if you would've just said straight up that you didn't want help instead of leading me to believe you did.
I'm glad your life is going good for you. You deserve it.
Especially memories with people I'm not friends with anymore.
They make me sad.
I don't know.
I don't know why but I've been thinking about Brittany a lot these last few days.
Which is weird.
It's probably Hillary's fault because she's brought her up twice this last couple of weeks.
I miss going to Miami at 10 in the morning and not getting back until 1 in the morning or later.
I miss going to Dennys at 11 at night.
I miss watching Disney movies all night long.
I miss baking until 3 in the morning.
I miss our late night food binges.
I miss that summer where we went to Walmart every night.
And that same summer when we got McDonald's coffee every night right before Walmart.
I still remember you almost always getting the double quarter pounder with large fries and a coke.
I miss the cheesecake filling from walmart.
I miss hair dying.
I miss feeling awkward going to your grandparents house.
I miss talking to you about Adam.
I miss hearing you talk about [insert 'N' name here].
I miss hearing you talk about your new boyfriend (before he was your boyfriend).
I miss going to the mall.
I miss going to Orlando.
I miss going to the beach.
I miss saying we'll always take pictures. But we never did. And now I'm highly disappointed.
I miss trying to capture one of the starfish at the beach.
I miss getting drunk with you (even though I only ever got mad and I'm sorry because it wasn't your fault and I know it).
I miss talking about getting Chinese food but never getting it.
I miss getting lost in Orlando looking for Chinese food.
I miss going to TGIFriday's because we couldn't find Chinese food.
I miss shit talking Dustin.
I miss your power smoking.
I miss our bartender cramming.
I miss our middle of the night piercing.
I miss shit talking people with you.
I miss you.
But I'm too stubborn to give you the apology you deserve.
And to be honest I think deserve one too.
Because we both said some things we shouldn't have.
And it ended 100x quicker than it began.
I need to tell you I'm sorry for leaving in the first place. I shouldn't have given up on you.
But also you should've realized your eating disorder was hurting me.
It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't all we ever talked about.
And if you would've just said straight up that you didn't want help instead of leading me to believe you did.
I'm glad your life is going good for you. You deserve it.