generation

I left my apartment for the first time today in 5 days. I'm becoming a complete shut in.

I finally went somewhere today.
I haven't actually gone anywhere in probably 3 weeks.

I'm going go to Ohio in January and then again in March for my 21st birthday!

I love Ohio. Especially Cincinnati which is where I'll be going!

You don't even know how much...
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I hate thinking about old memories.
Especially memories with people I'm not friends with anymore.
They make me sad.

I don't know.

I don't know why but I've been thinking about Brittany a lot these last few days.
Which is weird.
It's probably Hillary's fault because she's brought her up twice this last couple of weeks.

I miss going to Miami at 10 in the...
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I'm about 1000 light years from seeing the beginnings of the light of just plain old pissed off. I'm so mad it's almost indescribable.

I don't sleep because I'm stressed.
I'm stressed over bills, not having a 'proper' job (or even a decent one at the moment), school, and not sleeping.
And it seems like the cycle is never ending.
And when it finally seems...
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I hardly ever sleep anymore.
Especially at night.
I never sleep at night.
Which is starting to have its affects on me.
Especially my mind.
Most of the time, I'm not even sure what day/time it is.

And I can't knock the feeling that eating at night is super bad for me.
Though I don't eat during the day, because that's when I'm usually sleeping,...
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My dreams are starting to resemble Resident Evil, and I do not like that.
I'll explain more later after I wake up more.

So more about this Resident Evil dream.

Setting :
Lots of people, stuck in a sky scraper with several elevators leading down, but none of the elevators working.

So all of the people, including myself are trying to get off of this...
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My puppy dog seems to be doing better. :] I'm so ecstatic about that. I love her so much and the thought of losing her is too much to bear. Her tongue is turning pink again. :] And her belly is starting to get pinkish again too. Her gums are still white but she's more alert now, and she's not wobbling around, or falling down...
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My dog has anemia.
And she needs a blood transfusion.
And they don't think she's going to live without one.
And we don't have the $1200 to get the blood transfusion.
So I'm feeding her liver.
And baby food with iron in it.
I really hope she doesn't die.
It's like loosing a child to me.
They're my babies.
And I can't stand the thought...
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