I think the pandemic for all of us flipped our lives upside down, relationships, friendships, living situations, work etc. For a self-employed person that made all my my income from travelling/DJing, those first weeks were terrifying...but who could have known it would all last this long?
A lot of us changed the way we think, too. The things we want in life, where we spend our time and who with, and where we're heading. There have been a lot of changes in my life and I will go into these a little bit if you're interested enough to read on.
TLDR? This isn't goodbye. I'm not quitting shooting for SG (I have plans in the works for new sets to come) but this is me taking a massive step back from something that could never prioritise me in the way I have it for the last decade. Shooting for SG is exciting, I love the work and the company and what it stands for but at times has been draining...mentally, physically and financially.
The disrespect in an area of work such as this can be really tiresome, I'm not a model myself but as a woman I am still (and I mean STILL, as in, just yesterday even though I haven't really shot or posted anything for over a year) a target for abusive and harassing comments/messages on social media (which I use primarily as a DJ), constantly. This is something I have learned to look past, 'get over' and grow a thick skin to protect myself from but one thing I've never spoken about publicly here is unfortunately the level of disrespect from my peers/clients/fellow women over the years. Now THAT has been really tiresome and leaves a bitter sweet taste even after a successful set or shootfest. I've shot a lot of sets but I can tell you with certainty that I have had more models stand me up than I have those that have shown up - keeping in mind I usually have to travel which means the added costs of train tickets and accommodation along with time wasting and the physical aspect of carrying my equipment all over the place for no reason. More time wasting for the months/sometimes years I spend talking to models, advising them - I wrote an entire blog series of advice/tips for free which you can find here! - rebooking them only to be stood up further. This has been something thats affected me, my family, friendships, relationships...I was barely ever home and when I wasn't, half that time I ended up not even working. A lot of people really do not care about anyone elses time and that's an unfortunate lesson to spend this long learning but something I'm not able to continue putting up with at the level I once was.
I'm not meaning to rant, just processing how silently sad this has made me over the years to have my time so undervalued, not just at a photographer or member of 'staff' but as a woman, as a person, sometimes even, I thought, as a friend...As much as none of this is intended to be at all personal, as the person sat on the end of it...it is. I've spent a lot of time feeling incredibly let down and disappointed - so many times I have sat in a location hours from home, with no one turning up. Or spent hours shooting a set that was never sent, even after confirmed and days working on edits, and many that were sent spending a life time in Member Review only to be removed by a disappointed model. Many are still there, some I still have hopes for, but many are long forgotten. Over the years most models and many photographers have launched their own websites/OnlyFans equivalent but that never felt like 'me' and I was always *only* about SG, so I never had anywhere to try and monetise or show off wasted content which only made the situation worse.
Over lockdown, I got to spend more time with my partner, I was working at a cat shelter and we adopted the best cat in the world annnnd I started streaming on Twitch which took off in a way I never imagined. Within ten months I was partnered and it's quickly become my main priority.
You can follow me on Twitch: here (it's free! Subscribing is £3.99 a month or free with Prime, but there's no pay wall so that's just your own choice after the fact)
If you'd like to continue to support me without using Twitch, I have a Wishlist linked and you can tip directly here!
Thank you for all the support here over the years, I'm sure there will be new sets coming soon but not at the rate I used to be able to as I have other commitments currently. For more regular updates, follow me on socials: ItsGemmaEdwards (Instagram, Twitter, Twitch)
Until next time <3
