Reason one: My life is generally a good one but the past few weeks/months has felt like nothing but blow and blow after blow. I moved house, resulting in so many problems, legal medical negligence battles regarding my teeth getting worse and worse, at the shootfest my camera and flash trigger got broken. Super stressful but I dealt with it and carried on...because I had NO IDEA how much it was going to cost. Last night I found out it was £670 for the camera itself, at least £80 for new trigger. Three days later I had hernia surgery, I now have what feels like a huge disgusting zombie scar on my lower abdomen (my stomach being one of the only things I can ever feel proud of at the gym, and that people will compliment, ruined - oh, and I can't gym for two months anyway) Now not only do I have these bills, but I can't work during my recovery. A week and a half later I am just about able to sit at my desk but obviously I am not able to work with the same speed and focus that I'm used to. On top of this, when starting 'back at work' last night (I had my dad set my office back up for me yesterday) and the first shoot I was going to work on from the shootfest has corrupted. The card is blank, I will keep trying but currently I have tried everything to recover these files and nothing is bringing them back from the upside down or wherever they have gone. Potentially I will need to re-do this shoot (if the girl will even want to!!!) or refund her, leaving me down about a thousand pounds now, with no work booked in for anothehr six weeks because of my operation. OH, and incase anyone wants to know, I'm on my period and it actually hurts more than the fucking hernia repair right now. Probably helped build into the hyperventilating style of crying. I am a pretty composed person most of the time, not today.
Reason two: The SG community. I found out today (feel like a massive whiney cunt after all the complaining I've done!) that the girls from shootfest have organised a gofundme to recover the costs, in secret, I had no idea I haven't seen anything about it but they've been sharing and hiding the posts from me so I wouldn't know...and my gosh they have been raising and donating an obscene amount of money. I burst into tears, yet again. How amazing. How kind. Thoughtful. Generous. Considerate. They have been giving away instax etc to raise money, donating themselves...I know these girls, they have no more money than I do. I don't want them to be giving their things away! What they've raised for me already is totally life changing for me right now and I don't even know what to say, but thank you so much.
I don't know what happened to my camera but I'm sure whoever knocked it had no idea it caused this kind of damage, I HAD NO IDEA! I thought it would be a simple fix, I can't believe it's not and this is just some very bad luck.
Big personal thank yous to everyone so far, @kalita @fresa @yourimmortal @konami_ @phoebe @violetwolf @rouge @bad_hulk @nayru @raign @lucerne @linziebelle @irondan @reuben @chibbi and Dan @mikaul and everyone whose usernames I don't know and donated anonymou
Next shootfest I definitely owe you guys a LOT of alcohol. xxx
(I am also feeling very lucky that I have a last minute weeks holiday with my dad Saturday for some chill. Important timing!)
