i did a stupid thing.
i was doing some "research" (snooping) around in my husband's email, and discovered an unknown gmail account. i attempted to access it, and the password has been reset because i tried too many times. oops.
its not a huge deal, and considering my snooping is beyond well-founded, i'm not too concerned.
i just like to be more covert about things of this nature.
he's gone until monday.
i don't feel that i have been satisfactorily furious about his responsibility in our divorce.
on an immediate, surface level, he is to blame for this.
going deeper, there are issues of mine that have contributed, over time, to the demise of our marriage.
but on the whole, he is to blame.
he has an addiction, and he lied straight-faced about itwhen confronted again and again. he only admitted it when confronted with concrete evidence. the addiction itself hurts me, but not within lightyears of his lies.
it ruined me.
everything in my life, everything i thought i knew, was destroyed.
i know it sounds dramatic, but trust and honesty are so important to me. i thought we could talk to each other about anything.
he promised that he would go to counseling when we could afford it, but i think that was just for my benefit.
i was told that it was under control, and i had nothing to worry about.
he lied again.
i haven't gotten sufficiently enraged. i'm mad, and i demand satisfaction.
i want to know why he doesn't care enough to tell me the truth-why i'm supposed to accept that he just can't be honest with me about certain things.
he actually said that he tried to warn me about the kind of man he was-that he told me he wasn't 1/2 as good as i imagined. like, somehow that excuses things because i didn't listen. this is really my fault?
i want to know when this stopped being important enough.
why i seem to be the only one that gives a damn.
the prospect of doing in all over again, with someone else, is really depressing.
this was supposed to be different.
this was supposed to be forever.
i was doing some "research" (snooping) around in my husband's email, and discovered an unknown gmail account. i attempted to access it, and the password has been reset because i tried too many times. oops.
its not a huge deal, and considering my snooping is beyond well-founded, i'm not too concerned.
i just like to be more covert about things of this nature.
he's gone until monday.
i don't feel that i have been satisfactorily furious about his responsibility in our divorce.
on an immediate, surface level, he is to blame for this.
going deeper, there are issues of mine that have contributed, over time, to the demise of our marriage.
but on the whole, he is to blame.
he has an addiction, and he lied straight-faced about itwhen confronted again and again. he only admitted it when confronted with concrete evidence. the addiction itself hurts me, but not within lightyears of his lies.
it ruined me.
everything in my life, everything i thought i knew, was destroyed.
i know it sounds dramatic, but trust and honesty are so important to me. i thought we could talk to each other about anything.
he promised that he would go to counseling when we could afford it, but i think that was just for my benefit.
i was told that it was under control, and i had nothing to worry about.
he lied again.
i haven't gotten sufficiently enraged. i'm mad, and i demand satisfaction.
i want to know why he doesn't care enough to tell me the truth-why i'm supposed to accept that he just can't be honest with me about certain things.
he actually said that he tried to warn me about the kind of man he was-that he told me he wasn't 1/2 as good as i imagined. like, somehow that excuses things because i didn't listen. this is really my fault?
i want to know when this stopped being important enough.
why i seem to be the only one that gives a damn.
the prospect of doing in all over again, with someone else, is really depressing.
this was supposed to be different.
this was supposed to be forever.
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I realize that the words of people on here and other places for that matter do very little to help.
But...just know that I love you and you will come out of this a stronger person ....remember "that which does not kill us only makes us stronger"