Real Enlightenment is Eating a Tangerine
Well guys, despite my plan, it didn't take anywhere near 60 days to sort my shit out. More like the better part of two days.
I couldn't sleep tonight, so I went outside to stare off into space and try to clear my mind a bit. Do some breathing exercises and see if I couldn't get sleepy.
It started pouring down rain out of no where, and in the midst of all this, it came to me. That I was the one behind it all, the stress and the sickness, because I could not bear to let go of anything, no matter what it was doing to me inside. I could not let a single thing fall or pass me by. For some reason I felt I had to do it all, all by my self.
I've never been good at asking for help, or accepting it when offered. So I figured, in my typical wrongheadedness, that if I could just cut everything out for a few months, it would be like hitting the reset button on my life. But I realized tonight that life doesn't have a reset button, and if I could make the decision to lay it all aside for two months, then whatever grew to be too much of a burden, I could lay aside at that time, rather than stressing over it.
So I'm back...hopefully that brief moment of satori hasn't addled my brain too much and made this completely incoherant or trite.
((btw, the italics above are a quote from the book, Hardcore Zen, by Bradley Warner, which i highly recommend)
-josh
Well guys, despite my plan, it didn't take anywhere near 60 days to sort my shit out. More like the better part of two days.
I couldn't sleep tonight, so I went outside to stare off into space and try to clear my mind a bit. Do some breathing exercises and see if I couldn't get sleepy.
It started pouring down rain out of no where, and in the midst of all this, it came to me. That I was the one behind it all, the stress and the sickness, because I could not bear to let go of anything, no matter what it was doing to me inside. I could not let a single thing fall or pass me by. For some reason I felt I had to do it all, all by my self.
I've never been good at asking for help, or accepting it when offered. So I figured, in my typical wrongheadedness, that if I could just cut everything out for a few months, it would be like hitting the reset button on my life. But I realized tonight that life doesn't have a reset button, and if I could make the decision to lay it all aside for two months, then whatever grew to be too much of a burden, I could lay aside at that time, rather than stressing over it.
So I'm back...hopefully that brief moment of satori hasn't addled my brain too much and made this completely incoherant or trite.
((btw, the italics above are a quote from the book, Hardcore Zen, by Bradley Warner, which i highly recommend)
-josh
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Just to let you know the pic of the Cheetah was sitting on the otherside of a glass window, so it is a little decieving - was still very close to him though - I took about 45 pics of him and only got about 3 or 4 good ones with no reflection from the window. You know Steve Irwin? - the aussie Croc guy - Crikey, and all that? well these photos were taken at his zoo here in Aus.
Just to let you know mate I'm leaving SG - I don't really use it that much - you have my email dont ya, we should still correspond. Good luck over there mate and keep safe.
Cheers
- Dean