okay, not to be a downer, but.....


my mom cried all day today. she didn't go to work because she couldn't compose herself. she cried...and i don't mean she sobbed a bit, she fucking all-out, top-of-her-lungs, in the fetal position, cried her fucking eyes out. i felt like i died a little inside today. i hate seeing anyone cry, but its especially tough to deal with when its someone that close to you and there's not a thing you can do to make it better. its not like i can say the magic word and make my step-dad come back and erase all those mean things he said and did and go "okay, susan, i love you again." i just have to give her a hug, tell her i love her, and then go in my room and shut the door and blast my stereo and try to ignore it so that my heart doesn't break anymore than it already has.

on a related note: i hope my step-dad has his life, heart, and soul ripped apart and suffers from it as he lives to the ripe, old age of 127. and then i hope he burns to death....it'd be kind of ironic since he's a fire-investigator.