geeksusie

Hello all,

I am writing this, my very last blog, with great sadness. As I said in last weeks blog, I am making decisions that will change my life. This one was a very tough one. My subscription to Suicide Girls expires tomorrow and I have decided not to renew. My decision is based solely on my determination to move forward with my relationship and life. New responsibilities are coming my way shortly. Being a future homeowner and a wife will take a lot of my time and energy. I am not complaining, contrarily I am looking forward to my new adventures. Heck, maybe motherhood is somewhere in my future. Wouldn't that be a blast? lol

I have been a subscriber for over 3 years, and to be honest, I have loved every minute of it. I initially joined because of the girls, but stayed because of all of you. Who would have ever thought that friendships would blossom from an initial perverted thought? And yes, I have developed many great and true friendships on here over the years. Some online and some offline. It has been wonderful, and for that I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.

Well, if you guys don't need a break now I certainly do.




I figured I would try to go out on a high note here with my photo breaks. Of course, KW has given her approval. She is right here with me while I am writing this, and she says goodbye and thank you to everyone as well.

The good news is that I will still be on Facebook so that we can still stay in touch that way. I just have to beat my addiction to Farmville. I waste sooo much time on that damn game!!! arghh!!!

I wish I could give all of you a hug right now, but that is not possible. So maybe just one last boobie break will do it.



Well, for one final time, it is time for my lame attempts at poetry. The last entry will not be by me, but it is something I read quite a while ago, and have always remembered. Before we get to that, here are my efforts.

Absent

Perhaps I've been absent...My presence hasn't been felt.
I never thought I'd be missed.
Funny how others see you so differently than you view yourself.
I'm not so great with words, although many would tell you differently.
My fingers pause when I attempt to dial the phone.
There is no cause, no turmoil. No reason not to speak.
Its the simple hesitation of my lack of social skills.

I text, I write, I post my status for all to see.
I think of so many people each and every day.
But I suppose they can't read my mind.
They don't feel my love...my overwhelming joy at having them in my life.
I think of their struggles, I struggle with them.
I feel their pain, and I cry for them.
I rejoice in their accomplishments, I smile in my heart.
But I do so quietly.

I suppose its the cowards way out...this silent voyeurism I have adopted.
Watching those I love live their lives without having to personally touch them.
Its the safety of watching, as though through the glass,
So I don't mess anything up by attempting to be a part of it.
I never saw myself as anti-social, and I never thought I lacked character.
I guess I'm still learning, and I have so far to go.

Words of Expression

God gave us words to
describe how or what
we feel.

Whether its in song poem or speech
however no matter how I
try to express my feelings

But I just cant seem to
ever find the right words
that truly say or show just
how much I love you and
exactly just how much you
mean to me

So I guess Ill have to show you
for the rest of my life
just how much you mean to me
and how much I love and care for you........

Okay, that's it from me. I just want to say thank you again to everyone. I love you all!!!

In closing, here is something that I think fits my mood right now.

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.
-- Gilda Radner

Goodbye everyone! Maybe we will meet again, maybe I will be back. Who knows what the future holds for each of us? Until then, much peace and love!

Yours truly,

Susie