gears

Such is my life...........


And I still TRY to stay up beat. My photoset didn't happen. Thank you photographer.... who is still blowing me off, not returning my phone calls, texts, emails, etc. Wasted money on props and such, etc. Like I said, it's been how long and he's STILL AVOIDING ME. Yeah, so much for that. Sad face.

I have not been on here for some time, mainly because of work, and still the poop internet, but was mainly because of work. Which the very short version of the long drama with that is that first we had very little business, then my boss wanted me to work both resorts, and work/train with the groomer at the other place. I asked ''are you sure'', my boss says ''yes''... so i did... so i bounced back and fourth between home, my regular place of employment (40 min away) and the other resort (an hour and a half away), either having to drive home, or not come home for days and stay at the other groomer's house. Then my boss says she can't pay me for all of the ot... and she's not going to, but wants me to keep working at the other resort on my own dime.

So, after a whole big to do, she says she will pay me, then threatens to fire me because I asked for it in writing that she is going to pay me.

All of that is getting sorted out, so that's a plus.

Broke up with my bf... which there was a LOT of drama regarding that over, well, always there's been drama. But shit hit the fan a few weeks ago, the police had to be called, I was terrified, so I panicked and tried to cover for him. I could have died had a blow landed any higher and hit my temple. But both got arrested, since he had scratches on his face from me flailing and trying to keep him away from me. So they took us both in, all be it, I was the one in much worse shape and they saw that.

I was stupid, I was here all alone, no one within an hour drive of me, sicker than i can ever recall in my life, and the only person i had to take care of me was him... who, for the past two weeks was perfect, until the bruises started to fade, then he went back to his old shit. so i had him leave thursday, i tried to talk to him about it, but all i got was called every name under the sun, put down, and just childish responses... oh, and i'm a whore because i wanted to be a model on here. so... yeah, a few anxiety attacks and more bs from him... i finally went to bed, woke up friday morning after i called off, to look at my phone, more unpleasantries and such from him waiting for me. that was it, he didn't care, so i broke it off. it wasn't love from him, it was a very unhealthy co-dependency. i blocked him from everything, and had his mom come get his belongings while he was at work. which i felt was the safest way to go about it. since he REFUSED to move out otherwise. so that was that. now he's having his mother text me about things he's telling her are ''missing''..... which he either took with him when he left thursday or i had packed up and they took friday. so, just rubbing salt in the wound... but when i express concern regarding my house key, the money owed, hundreds of dollars, the damages he caused before he left (broken door, computer room door now has two holes punched in it, damage to the walls, etc), and my belongings he took, they are ignored completely. no response whatso ever. so that's that. i'm sad, yesterday was the worst... but it's early today still. there is no doubt it was for the best and a long time coming... but of course, being in the mourning phase, i'm sad, question things, but i do know it was for the best.