gaslight

Anyone else here know what it's like to have an anxiety/panic attack? I'm talking the really bad ones where your heart races, you can't breathe, you feel like you could blow chunks, you feel like you could die,,,etc. If you've never had one be very thankful. I woke up this morning at 7am from a dream and was in an instant, severe panic attack. At first, I just thought I was startled from waking suddenly, but they tend to kinda snowball on you. Once they get rolling, it's really hard to calm back down. So I spent the next two and a half hours pacing my apartment, drinking water, trying to breathe deeply, and walking to the bathroom to try and puke. Joy joy When I finally crashed, I slept til 1:30 and still don't feel right. Most of the time I can control them now just by chilling myself out. I know it's all in my head. But, for that 5% when I can't, I really wish I had medical insurance so I could get a script to something that would help ie. xanax, klonopin, valium etc. Fuck, I'm so wiped out and have to be at work in two hours.