garrettf

Let's Get Re-Acquainted


No more wars, no more fighting in the streets. Let's keep our eyes on the big picture shall we?

Okay!

I've learned so much. I'm not getting old, I'm growing up. The world hasn't sucked my soul dry yet. I haven't become a fucked up shadow of my former self yet. I'm still the same old G, kind of.

2008 was an incredible, incredible year and I had some very great times. I finished a year at PCAD, which was hell. I absolutely hated that fucking place. Most of the students were these stupid little assholes who could draw bowls all day but still didn't have the vision or imagination or even an open mind. That might explain why everyone who's any good leaves and everyone who sucks graduates and can't find a job. Oh well, I mean, you can't win em all. At the very least I got some college credits and went back to school.

I feel antsy, I feel so fucking antsy, there's so much to say and yet I don't know even where to start. I only blog when things are bad. I have to talk about the Kelsey thing but I really don't care enough to bother. I could say things, I could say horrible things that would just smash her little world but I'm not going to do that. For one, I'm better than that. I do believe that if someone wants to roll in the mud with you, there are times when you have to fucking smash em so they never try to do it again. Is this one of those times? No. Because I can see the big picture. There's nothing I can say or do that will be as bad as the shit she can do to herself. I don't know where these people come from but why the hell are there so many wretched fucking people in this town?

There are so many passive aggresive little people trying to discredit me and shit, its kinda ridiculous. I don't care. I never gave a fuck about anyone's opinion other than my own, so whats the point? Anyone who would honestly believe the fucked up shit that John or Steve or Macho or Coby or Mexican Steve have ever said about me can just disappear here. I've learned that the really good people are diehard, always by your side no matter what. The people with the faith. The good kind people that are worth listening to and caring about. Everyone else is pretty much a shitty person and shitty friend. That's it.

I had a dream that I saw the hand of God come out of the sky and reach down for something. It wasn't grabbing me, it was just coming down in the distance, like the Presence from Year Zero. I wasn't afraid in the dream, although there was a massive meteor shower coinciding with the hand. I felt releived for some reason. It was serene. Kind of like that whole near death experience that no one believes happened. Well, sorry guys but fuck you, I know what I saw and felt. I feel like there is most definitely a God, some thing that does something else. I've seen too much to doubt it. Some people live lifes according to shit they can prove, but you can't proove everything. Years ago you couldn't prove DNA existed but hey, it's there. Doesn't matter, there are too many things you can't explain or control, and thats fine with me.

I've learned to let go of the past. The people I thought I knew, certain things. Ways. I'm stuck with this feeling like I'm getting better, or learning more. I'm still changing.

I like who I am. I have to, I'm stuck being me. I could change, but why would I want to. I'm not conceited, I'm confident that I could find away to make anything happen. Thats just how I am.

Millersville is weird. It feels so natural. It feels like I've always been here. I can't even believe I'm a student here. I'm glad. Things were getting very depressing back there. I don't even know whats gonna happen but this is very productive and nice. I hate that dead end feeling. Good god. I'd hate to be trapped in a shitty situation. Especally one with the wrong people around me, the wrong place, wrong time. Stuck, trapped. Forever.

That would be hell.

But thats not me. Maybe someone else, but not me. Dude when Biggie died in Notorious, once again I was reminded that any one of us could fucking die at any minute. So why the fuck are you still wasting time? Why not go make your dreams come true, how hard could it be? A waste of life is such a shitty fucking thing.

I really wish people didn't treat each other so bad.

I hate when people are sarcastic and synical all the goddamn time. You have no idea how annoying that is. For some people it's like thier whole shtick, thier one trick. "Oh look how sarcastic and pissy I am, I'm cool."

Bite it.